If You

Peace of Mind

Two days passed and still Jiyong didn't return to the apartment, so Emily threw herself into the decorating and unpacking that remained to be done. The upstairs loft had been painted a pale green and furnished with a crib and matching rocking chair, which she used as she folded baby clothes and blankets and tucked them away. We may not know what you are yet, she thought, pressing a hand to her belly, but this is a start.

She found herself talking to the life growing inside her, almost like it was a confidant no one else could see. He or she was a piece of both Jiyong and herself, but not even Jiyong could understand the bond she already felt. There's a lot your daddy doesn't understand, she told the baby, but I really messed up this time. How do I make it right?

She got up to go downstairs, then she heard a noise in the kitchen and froze on the top step. It could be Jiyong, but he and the other members would've called first, she thought. "Hello?" she called loudly. "Whoever you are, I've got a weapon and I'm calling the police!"

Her heart thudded as heavy footsteps approached, then a man in a dark uniform turned the corner and looked up at her. "It seems I've saved you the trouble, because I am the police," he replied in a familiar deep voice.

Emily's heart leapt and she sagged against the railing in relief. "Seunghyun!" she breathed. "What are you doing here?"

"Is that all you have to say to a visiting officer?" he said, pretending to pout.

Emily hurried down the stairs and hugged him tightly. "I thought you were a burglar!" she laughed. "When - how-"

"This morning, and I got a few days' leave," he replied, hugging her gently. "No one was at the penthouse, so I decided to check here before going to YG."

"I'm the only one here," she said as she released him, then she patted her belly. "Well, almost the only one."

"I'm so pleased for you, and Jiyong," Seunghyun said proudly.

Emily's smile faltered slightly at Jiyong's name and Seunghyun noticed immediately. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, waving him away, "but you always could pick up on my moods."

"And I'm picking up something now," he replied. "Trouble in paradise?"

Emily told him about the fight, but Seunghyun stayed impressively neutral during the whole tale. "You've certainly outdone yourselves this time," he commented. "And he still hasn't called?"

Emily shook her head. "He leaves in three weeks and I'm beginning to think I won't see him at all," she said. "How do I fix this?"

"I can't tell you that," Seunghyun said immediately, "but don't let your time run out."

"Time," she mused. "I've always been on the wrong side of time, haven't I?"

"That's what we love about you," he teased.

******

Jiyong sat alone in the recording booth, his feet propped up on the mixing board as he stared at the deserted microphone. This would likely be his last time in there before he left for Andong, but there wasn't anything left to write or record. He and the other members had been working overtime to prepare music for release while they were gone, all of which was already finished and tucked away somewhere, but Emily was continually in his thoughts and his anger battled with guilt at avoiding her. We should be spending every moment we can together, not steaming about another fight, he thought for the thousandth time.