If You

Japan

"I always hate leaving China," Seungri said, flopping down into a seat.

"Why?" Emily asked, carefully tucking her bag into the overhead compartment.

"I don't know, I just do," he said, staring out the window. The sun was already well up, sending sunbeams across the tarmac.

"He just misses the pretty girls," Jiyong teased, putting on headphones.

"Yes," Seungri agreed, barely listening to him. Jiyong and Emily glanced at each other and laughed. "What are you listening to?" Emily asked, sitting across from him.

"They sent me some rough demos this morning. Looks like my album's back on track."

Emily perked up. "Can I hear?" she asked, already reaching for his phone.

"No!" Jiyong exclaimed, jerking away from her. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Sorry. I just want it to be perfect before other people hear it."

Emily nodded. "I get it. I'm the same way with my writing. I'd rather die than let someone read my unedited work."

Jiyong looked uncomfortable and Emily tilted her head. "There's that look again."

"What look?" he said immediately. "I don't have a look."

"Yes, you do," she insisted, laying down her notebook. "Every time I mention my writing you get this guilty look on your face."

"You do look kind of guilty," Seungri said, rejoining the conversation.

"You're both seeing things," Jiyong said adamantly, adjusting his headphones. Emily sat back in her seat, scrutinizing him carefully. What is he... she sat up suddenly, making Jiyong jump. "You read something, didn't you?" she said. "You read some of my notes!"

"No, I didn't!" Jiyong insisted, his face reddening. "I only..." he stopped, biting his lip. Emily's eyes widened. "You didn't." Jiyong pulled his hat down, his silence confirming it. "You read my journal?" she asked incredulously.

"I didn't know it was your journal!" Jiyong said. "I saw your notes sitting out in the open and I thought it was one of your notebooks. I got curious."

Emily shook her head and sighed. "It's okay."

"Really?" Jiyong and Seungri said simultaneously.

"Yeah. My siblings used to find my journals all the time. I'm used to it." She gave a wry smile. "Though I was under the impression that the leader of the group was supposed to set a good example?"

"Oh, what did you do now?" Daesung groaned, leaning over between Emily and Seungri.

"Dude, Jiyong-"

"Let me listen to one of his demos," Emily said, cutting Seungri off. "It sounds great."

Daesung's chin dropped. "You let her listen to a demo?" he repeated. Jiyong glanced at Emily. "Yeah, they sent them to me this morning," he said finally.

Daesung shook his head. "What is happening?" he mumbled, sitting down. Emily smiled at Jiyong and went back to her notebook.

******

After the plane reached cruising altitude Emily peeked behind her seat at the other members. Daesung was already asleep, while Seungri, Seunghyun and Mr. Sagowa were playing cards a few rows away. She leaned over and nudged Jiyong. "So?" she whispered.

He looked at her blankly. "So what?"

"What did you read in my journal?"

"Oh." Jiyong pulled his headphones down. "I don't really remember."