The Two Of Us

Chapter 4

Drew's POV

It's Sunday but my secretary emailed me some work to do. Honestly, I can do it tomorrow and rest now but I don't have anything to do.

I looked at my sleeping wife beside me and smile. I am working hard to give everything to her. I know that I am not his first choice. I know that she doesn't love me, but, I LOVE HER. I can't tell her though because everytime I'm showing how much I want her and love her, she is always making excuses, like this morning.

****FLASHBACK***

I was so tired and I saw her looking at her body in the mirror. I know she is thinking deeply because she didn't notice me getting my towel that is hanging near our bathrooms door.

I took a bath and get a little scotch since I really need to sleep. I drink it like a water and lay down then just maybe 3 to 4 minutes after, I have a blanket covering my waist down to my feet. I know it's my wife Celine who puts blanket on me.

He laid down next to me and I really want to hug her but I pretended that I'm still in my deep sleep but when I felt that she's getting up, I put my arms around her immediately. I hugged her and she stiff for a moment.

She tried to remove my arms around her so I hugged her tighter.

"Drew, I have to get some water"...she said and with that, I released her from my hug.

She is still uncomfortable with me.

We are doing what regular husband and wife is doing but it rarely happen because every time we are doing it, she stands up right away and go to our bathroom. She will take a shower for a very long time and it hurts me and my ego. It's like she is washing my scent, my touch, myself away from her.

****End Of Flashback****

I heard a doorbell outside our house. From my office window, I looked down at the gate and saw a taxi cab parked outside.

I also see my beautiful wife getting in the taxi cab.

Here she goes again, but I can't blame her. She is only 20, but I can't help it. I can't help to feel envy, jealous, and sometimes mad when she leaves the house without saying anything to me. She is leaving a note but still, is it that hard to communicate with me?

We talk but we never talk like real husband and wife.

I'm always thinking that maybe she isn't ready yet. Maybe, I shouldn't have agreed with this marriage. Maybe, I'm making her sad.

I'm also thinking that what if she found someone? What if she falls-in-love with someone else? What if she leaves me one day?

Thinking things like that, imagining that she will leave me makes me feel like SH+T. I don't want to think of it but lately, I'm always catching her in deep thoughts. I know what she was thinking. I read that to her diary. I know it isn't a good thing but it's just an accident. I was looking for the TV remote in our room when I saw an unfamiliar notebook tucked into our headboard.

I thought it's just a notebook but when I flipped the page, I saw her writings and the words "WILL I EVER GET OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE".

It was written last year, 2 months after we got married.

It made me sad especially when i continued reading it. She wants escape and she wants to leave but she doesn't want to make her parents sad or disappoint them so she is staying. In the middle part of her diary, she said I'm handsome and close to perfect and I kind of make her smile but she also says that our marriage is just a paper and only for show and she is just waiting for an end.

After reading the diary, I felt bad. At first, I decided to let her go but I can't. I don't want to.

I wish I could tell her I love her but I am scared that she will not say she loves me too. I know, it's not right to demand but it's painful. The thought of me saying I love you and finding out that she doesn't feel the same hurts me.

I'm a coward, maybe yes but this girl. The girl I am married with is my life.

The first time I laid my eyes on her made me want to marry her right away so when I found out our parents our friends and always joking about marriage between us, I took it seriously and saved their company in exchange of her marrying me.

She doesn't know that and I intend to keep it that way.