Chapter 13

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Ethan stared listlessly at the wall. The straight-backed chair was incredibly uncomfortable, but he didn't move. He waited, he had to. His actions at the ball required an apology, and that apology would have to happen today. He had just received word from his father that he was to spend the rest of the winter preparing his home in Scotland to receive his new bride. They would all be coming back in the spring for the wedding, but he couldn't just leave Lavinia without the courtesy of an apology. So he waited.

He had called twice already in the past few days, but she had refused to see him both times. Now, he sat in a chair in the foyer of the Antrucha house, waiting for her to come down. She didn't want to see him, and he couldn't blame her. His guts had been writhing and twisting within him since she'd run away from him in the garden. He'd been tormented all night with visions of her in his arms and memories of that kiss on his lips.

He was supposed to be in love with Cassandra, he was supposed to have these feelings for her, but he couldn't. He had tried, he'd even repeated to himself over and over that he was in love with her, but it didn't work. She was just like all the rest, a spoiled flirt that would spend every pound she could get her hands on, and he didn't want someone like that. He wanted someone who set his heart on fire and brought a smile to his face, and Lavinia, quiet, beautiful, mysterious, ignored Lavinia had done that to him.

He'd tried to resist his feelings as long as he could, but a man could only hold out so long. The dam in his heart had broken, and he had plunged headlong into oblivion. The best thing about it was that he didn't care. He didn't care that he wasn't supposed to like her, he didn't care that there would be hell to pay if anyone discovered what had happened in that garden last night, it didn't matter, not anymore. That was what love was supposed to do to you. He wanted to take Lavinia in his arms and dance with her in public, he wanted to kiss her in the park or in the rain or anywhere really, and he wanted to wake up every morning to find her by his side. He didn't care what people would say or think, not anymore. Let them talk, it'd give them something to do.

He felt swamped as though he were being sucked into a hole with no way out. His father was commanding him to marry Cassandra, and if he refused, there would be endless miles of contention that would likely break up the family. His heart, however, was telling him to love Lavinia, to harbor the desire to hold her in his arms night and day. He yearned to enter a married life with her, and although he didn't like to admit it, he thought about it a great deal. Cassandra was a like an extra knight in a game of chess, she wasn't his queen and had no chance of becoming such. He knew that if he obeyed his father and married her, he would be doing her and Lavinia a great injustice. He loved Lavinia, that would never change. How was he supposed to go through life pretending to love Cassandra when, in reality, his heart longed for her sister?

A step in the hall above startled him back to reality. Straightening, he looked expectantly at the stairway, praying the familiar figure would descend momentarily. For a long moment, there was silence as though whoever walked the hall was hesitating, unsure. Then there was movement again. A pale, tall woman stepped onto the first stair, her eyes downcast, her lips almost as pale as the rest of her skin. Ethan memorized every line, every feature. He stared at the dark hair, remembering its sweet scent, remembering what it had been like to have her in his arms.

Lavinia looked up as she came to the bottom stair. Her eyes caught his, and tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. She stared at him without saying anything, and Ethan got slowly to his feet, returning her gaze. In his mind, he was free, free to step forward and take her in his arms, free to press kisses all over her face and tangle his hands in her dark hair.

"Why?" She breathed. "Why did you come?" She looked away from his gaze.

"Because," he whispered. "I—I had to see you again."

"Oh, Ethan," she pressed her hands to her face, covering her eyes.

Ethan closed the distance between them and put his hand on her back, gently leading her to the parlor. Taking her to a chair, he poured her a glass of water and watched as she slowly drank it.

"Lavinia," he whispered, loving the way the name rolled off his tongue.

"Don't," She looked up at him quickly. "Don't say it."

"I have to, I have to speak." He wet his lips and sat down opposite her. "I must beg you to forgive me, my actions were not that of a gentleman." She avoided his eye and didn't speak.

With a sigh, Ethan got to his feet and began pacing the room, running a careless hand through his hair. How was he supposed to focus when she was right in front of him, sitting there with those big, beautiful eyes concealed from view?

"I have to leave," he said suddenly, returning to his seat. "My father has summoned me, and I must go." She finally looked up, her doe-like eyes settling on him in a most unnerving fashion. "I—" He paused and wet his lips. "I won't be back until the wedding, and I had to see you before I went." She swallowed and looked away again.

"Oh," was all she said.

Ethan got up and went to the window, looking out on the rolling hills of green that he had come to recognize and love so well. He sighed, the tug-a-war continuing in his heart. He could write to his father and tell him of the situation, perhaps even persuade him to change his mind, but Ethan knew it was impossible even as he thought it. He couldn't change his father's mind any more than he could love Cassandra.

"Lavinia," He whispered, turning away from the window to find her staring at him. "Please, I have one favor to ask of you before I go." She almost visibly shrank away from him. "I know you'll think it's wrong, and you'll probably refuse, but I can't help myself." He rounded her chair and knelt in front of her, tears were streaming down her cheeks, and she shook her head at him. "Will you kiss me before I leave? When I come back, I'll no longer have any sort of freedom to ask you such a question," his own eyes flooded with tears of frustration. "But I can't leave without kissing you one last time."

She turned away from him and wiped her cheeks with her hand, and he knew she would refuse. Why would she do anything else? He'd been a fool to ask in the first place. But suddenly, a gentle hand touched his cheek, and then her lips were pressed to his. He felt himself reaching for her, taking hold of her as though he'd never let go, kissing her with all his raging emotions, all of his love.

Then she was gone. Tearing away from him, she fled, and he was left kneeling in front of her chair. He kept his eyes closed for a moment, a long moment, calming himself as best he was able. He wanted to yell and scream, more than that, he wanted to cry. He was in love, more in love than he ever could've imagined, and there was nothing, absolutely nothing, he could do about it.

Rising, he looked around the room, taking in every detail one last time. He wanted to burn the image into his mind, so he would never forget any of it. He wanted to hold close the memory of every place he had ever held her hand or kissed her or encouraged her, he wanted to remember everything. Heaving a sigh and swallowing, he turned to leave for what seemed like forever. A part of him would never be able to come back, he realized, the part that loved Lavinia would have to find a new place of residence out of the way in the moors of Scotland, when he came back, he was going to marry Cassandra.


There you have it, another chapter. I know, I know, I've taken forever and a day to get back to this, but life sometimes carries you away in a crazy, chaotic rush, and when things get a little slower, you stand back and wonder what just happened. I've been meaning to update this for a while, but I finally got around to it *woohoo!*. Anyway, have a splendid day :D.

Oh!!!! Goodness!!! I forgot!!! Her Sisters' Fiancé has four hundred reads. Four hundred!!!!! I don't know, I'm probably completely and utterly insane, but that just makes me happy. Thank you, my dear readers, for the extra smile on my face today! It really means a lot. 

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