Shut it down ( Urban )

The beginning .

"Hey Darnesha" My co-worker Mr.Smith said as I walked through the back door.

"Hey" Was all I said. I clocked in and pinned on name tag. I went to my first table.

"Hello, I'm your waiter Darnesha, may I start you off with drinks ?" I said .

"Yea, I'll have the Lemonade and she'll have the raspberry lemonade" the guy said ordering for him & her . Awn cute

"Alright, I'll be back with your drinks" I fake smiled and walked away.

I wish I had a boyfriend to do that for me , but I have Nobody .

I fixed the drinks and walked back to the table. I handed them their drinks.

"Who's ready to order ?" I said pulling back out my notepad.

"We'll just have the 25 wing set with the fries, thank you" The girl said handing me the menus.

I finshed my shift just in time to catch the 10'clock bus. Sometimes I just wanna say fuck it but I need the money. I live in the Ghetto , a one bedroom apartment actually . Its cool I guess , I have furniture .

I rung the bell once I reached my stop. I quickly got off and starting walking down the ghetto ass street. Gangsters and pimps filled the street along with a few prostitutes. I put in my headphones and put my hood on.

I quietly walked down with my head hung low until I felt somebody grab my arm. I yanked away and ran towards my apartment. Once I reached my apartment , I raced up the 3 flight of stairs and jammed my key in. I busted my door open and slammed it shut .

I'm scary as fuck . I been threw a lot and I still haven't let go , therefore I get scared when a person touches me or even when they speak to me. I'm scared of the outcome.

I took a long bath then cooked a small pizza . My life is boring I guess . I have no friends , no nothing. My mom & dad died when I was 16 years old. Nothing has been the same and to me , It never will be . Monday-Friday I go to College 8:00 to 2:30 , then I stay from 3:30 until 7:30pm because I clean up for 8.80$ per hour. At 7:30 I leave to my city job who pays 7.60$ per hour , until 11pm. So by the end of each week I have about almost 600, maybe a little more if I do overtime. Which isn't shit after I pay rent and the little bills I do have and fed myself.

I see my self as okay I guess. My mom & dad were the only ones who thought I was beautiful, but your parents suppose to say that right ? I never thought of it though , When I was little and a teenager the guys never noticed me... nobody did actually. I was always quiet , I never said anything really. I was a straight A+ student .

I'm Latina and African American. I'm 5'3, short as fuck. I'm 'thick' is what the pimps say. I'm a rich lightskin color , eyes bright brown with long big golden hair. Plus I wear these ugly glasses. Some people think I'm still in highschool as a freshmen . Oh okay. I'm just short. I have ass I guess and my boobs are a good size. I don't see how they think I'm in highschool.

Sometimes it breaks my heart to see happy people. Onky because I have nobody. I don't even talk to my family anymore. I had one boyfriend 2 years ago, Durante. He was my all, he kinda warmed my heart. He filled In a empty spot. I thought he'll be there forever but he wasn't. He cheated on my through oue whole relationship. He beat me once because I asked him was he cheating. I remember that day like yesterday .

Flashback -

"Durante just tell me the truth ! are you cheating on me ?" I semi yelled at him.

"Didnt I just tell yo ass I'm not !" He screamed in my face .

"Stop lying ! Who is JESSICA then ?" I screamed and shoved him. Mistake

He grabbed me by my hair and threw me to the wall. Punch after punch he hit me repeatly in my face and everywhere.

"St-p Dura-nte !" I struggled to scream trying to hide my face .

"You think I'm CHEATING HUH ? WE'LL LET ME SHOW YO ASS HOW MUCH I'M CHEATING !" He yelled before pulling me around making me hit the walls.

Blood starting appearing , blinding my vision until I passed out .I woke up in a hospital bed . I got the worst news of my life . My daughter died in my stomach .

Flashback over -

That was suppose to be my daughter, my princess. I cry all the time wishing she wouldve made it to this world as me as her protecter. I vist her grave almost everyday when I'm off work.Durnate didn't care that I lost our child, he said he didn't give a damn about me from the jump. He just wanted the sex. Thats what made me this way, I trust nobody.

I love nobody because nobody will ever love me . I Trust nobody because trust gets you hurt. Therefore I'm alone. Shut down.