Love Me Goodbye - A Harry Potter Fanfiction

Chapter five - An act of kindness and a disapproval

The dried out grass is slowly shifting from green to yellow in the late summer sun and it's hurting against my right leg. It's sticking up like nails from the ground and I know that if I was to remove my leg, it's would to be marks all the way up to my knee from the tiny peaks.

I pick a tall one up from the millions of others and play with it with my fingers. It crumbles apart and I throw it away, back into the mass. I am simply bored to death.

It's Harry's birthday and the Burrow is full of people to celebrate this very special occasion. Remus, Bill and Tonks has all taken time off to come and eat dinner and have a blast with the rest of the Weasley family.

They're all gathered around the big table that they have moved outside so they can enjoy the warmth of the sun. God, I hate eating in the sun. How lucky that I'm not with them. Instead I'm sitting a couple of feet away, far away enough so I can't make out the words that is happily exchanged around the dinner table while they're waiting for the food to arrive from the kitchen.

With the paper on the ground and the pen in my hand, I decide to write another letter to Draco. I should apologise once again for my behaviour. To be honest, I don't really know what I'm apologising for but I know that I want my best friend back. But at the same time, he did lie to me about his family. Why would he do that? He knew that I would never judge him for something his father had done, I couldn't care less.

When I start to think about it, I can feel the anger build up inside of me once again. He was the one who left me, and he lied to me during our whole friendship. Why on earth should I apologise? He doesn't deserve my letters and apologies. He can go to hell.

My head start to spin and I clutch the paper in my hand until it's nothing but a tiny ball. In frustration I close my eyes, doing my best to not start breaking things. I need to calm down. Why am I suddenly so angry at everything all the time? I really need to get it checked by Madam Pomfrey or something because I have never been this angry before in my life. I'm angry at everything and everyone, all the time. I need a break from this hell hole.

I throw what's left of the piece of paper on the ground before my feet and turn my head towards the table once again. The loud laughter pisses me off even more.

I pull up my legs towards my chest and as I had predicted, it's marks along the outside of my leg from the grass.

My head sink down to make contact with my black clad knees and I rest my eyes. I wish now more than ever before that I could be somewhere else, far far away. The familiar sting is making sure I feel it in my chest once again.

Maybe I could just take my broom and fly away. I would sneak out when Harry is asleep and then I would take the broom, my bag and just leave, leaving everything that has anything to do with the name Weasley and never return.

It is just one problem, and it i that I still have nowhere to go. I'm forced to stay here, like a dragon in the darkest chambers of Gringotts. I can't escape, not until I'm 17 and can take care of myself with the safety of knowing I can use magic outside the school.

Being far into my thoughts, I don't notice when Molly walks up to me. With a wand in her hand, she sits down next to me, carefully avoiding the particularly sharp blades of grass. It takes her a few seconds to settle down on the grass comfortably. I keep my head low and ignore her presence. Even without looking at her, I can feel the tension. The coldness between a son and a mother, a relationship long lost.

"Edmund.." She begins slowly, clearly not knowing what to say next. My brows furrow together and I don't make any effort to make the situation easier for her.

Her deep inhale breaks the pause and I can practically hear her sorting together all her thoughts. "I wanted to tell you something. I know that you feel abandoned-"