Why is my life so terrible?

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A/n: im literaly crying while doing this but i just need to vent out




My best friend thats been such a sister to me every since middle school hates me..............

Her and i got into a fight because of the argument her friend and i got in..........

My last name is baldenegro and hes very racist and calls me nergo be cause of it especailly when my best friend had pointed out that it meant black bucket.........

So he will keep bringing it up all the time even when i tell him to stop he still does it the next day.........

I have a limit with racist people and he always goes to far and i tell him that too.........

But yesterday he brought it up again and i told him, "if you keep brining it up i will cut you because im at my limit".........

But as we were arguing and she was trying to break us up he then said, "i like how we're ganging up on kiana" and i dont think she heard that but i told her not to talk to me for the rest of the day cause i needed to vent out or else i might say something i'll regret and i did by saying "fuck you aly," and "thanks for being there, and when i was being bullied," and it was on accident............

But she didnt and today when i tried to apologize i sent her a long message that said i was sorry and that i didnt mean it, along with that she was so much better than me that i was greatful to have her around and that i was so selfish for my behavior that i coyldve controlled but didnt, and that if she doesnt forgive me i will leave her alone for her.............

But she didnt forgive me and didnt want to be my friend anymore and thought i was playing the victim in this but really i was just apolgizing and letting her know im sorry at least and even said i was worthless person that shouldnt even live because im just a buiren to everyone and she sent this...........




But she didnt forgive me and didnt want to be my friend anymore and thought i was playing the victim in this but really i was just apolgizing and letting her know im sorry at least and even said i was worthless person that shouldnt even live becau...

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And so right now im scratching and near to having an anxiety attack but venting this out will probably help so im sorry if this wasnt a story again but right now my life sucks and when it gets good it becomes worst...........

I dont know what to do right now and think my life should just..........not exist so good bye

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