Forever Haunted

His presence

However, everything was shattered into pieces when there was this one guy who really liked me. He could have done anything just to get close to me. I admit that he's a handsome lad and a trendy one too. I can say every girls were head over heels for him. Every girls' attention were drawn to him except me and I had always thought that he was just an ordinary guy. Nothing was so special about him that could make me fall for him like other girls did. My ideal man isn't one with definitely good looks but I tend to fall for one's personality if he is humorous, able to accept me for who I am, caring, and so on. If I were to list the characteristics of my ideal man here, it wouldn't be enough. This guy was seen to be a very sensible one, great in delivering speeches, responsible and many other admirable traits. In spite of that, his personality couldn't attract me much and I felt weird every time I saw him. Maybe he wasn't my cup of tea. That lovey-dovey feelings just didn't apply to me whenever I met him.

Everyone in the campus knew about his feelings towards me but I just ignored him as I wasn't intended to be involved in such many complicated love triangles related to him. Even though I kept insisted that I didn't have such feeling towards him, everyone seems to not understand me and always blurted out that we would make the sweetest couple in the campus. Who wouldn't want a good-looking guy, not forgetting to mention that he also came from a rich family? He even had a bungalow and a sport car all by himself as his birthday present. Normal typical girls might choose him in the first place but that is so not me. I might sound like an abnormal human being right now because I rejected such a nearly-perfect guy or at least everyone did say he's perfect. I still don't get it what was so special about that guy that he could attract almost every girls in the campus. Contrarily, my friends were perplexed about how I could reject such guy. What could I do when my heart just don't belongs to him?

He looked so serious about being in a relationship with me. Unfortunately, he wasn't my taste. I don't know why I smelt something fishy about him even though he didn't show anything suspicious in the public. Maybe it was just mere feelings of mine. Some kind of natural instincts that I couldn't describe with words had disrupted my trust towards him. I just hated him. I don't know why but I hated him and that did create some problems between me and him. I've shown a lot of signs that I have such hatred towards him. What I did was I rarely made eye contact with him whenever he tried to talk to me. Somehow and in some ways, those eyes of him contained mixtures of feelings that I couldn't decipher. How and why I couldn't gaze into those eyes whenever I talked to him, I just don't know. It was some sort of scary. Not that his eyes were lacking in some ways but they pictured some hidden personalities of this guy that he was trying to hide them so hard that he ended up showing them involuntarily to me. That was the first and the last time I was going to make eye contact with him whenever he was going to talk to me.

For the rest of the days and years whenever he tried to approach me and made little conversations, I'd never ever able to see him in the eyes. Sometimes, I could sense vibrations in his voice whenever he talked to me. Maybe the fact that I was avoiding eye contact with him and just nodded with every word he said, giving him no chances at all to speak much had made him a tad bit angry at me. Or maybe very angry towards me. I know I shouldn't think of him that way since it made me looks like a bad girl at that time. Yeah, I did think that I was very bad for overreacting over some stupid natural instincts of mine. I couldn't help it but having such perceptions towards him. If he ever knew about it at that time, I wonder what would he do and how would he react to it. A series of events with him continued to happen and as usual, I ignored him most of the time because of some stupid feelings and hatred.