The pain is real

Overwhelmed

We finally are totally moved into the new house. The boys absolutely love it. To say life is crazy is an understatement. Thank god I have Lizzy to help me keep my life together. This week I have tapings of the voice to do and my last two shows of my tour are this weekend. Not to mention the Halloween carnival at the boys school. It's a lot on my plate, but I know I'll get through it all I always do. Blake is being very over protective of me since I told him about the baby. He wouldn't let me help with the move other than to tell everyone where things should go. I know it's cause he cares but I'm not used to it at all and I have been getting frustrated. Last night I went to bed mad at him and when I woke up he was already gone to work. I laid in bed and cried. My hormones, the boys, Gavin, the move, and now fighting with Blake. Saying I'm overwhelmed doesn't even begin to explain how I feel! Suddenly I hear a tiny knock and voice on the other side of my door.

"Momma. Bwakey . Up?"

"I'm in here baby come in."

A curly haired little boy comes running in and jumps on the bed beside me. He breaks into a coughing fit. The doctor said it was just a virus, so we just take Tylenol and wait it out. He lays down and cuddles into me. One of my favorite things, the other involving a certain cute cowboy. Apollo looks to the bathroom...

"Bwakey momma?" Apollo looks at me concerned

"Blakey had to go to work early baby." He starts to tear up and I know just how he feels.

I hate that he left this morning without kissing me goodbye or letting me say sorry. He has been hounding me about getting enough sleep. I know that probably is the reason he didn't wake me up but I hate leaving things this way.

"Momma I want Bwakey!" Tears are pouring down his face and my heart breaks

"You want to FaceTime him baby?"

"Pwease momma!"

I grab my phone off the side table and pull up his number. I hit the FaceTime button and wait for the ring. Part of me is scared he won't answer but part of me knows he would never miss a chance to see me even if we are mad. It rings a little longer than normal and my stomach sinks.

"Hey sunshine! Did you sleep good babe?"

"Bwakey!!!!!!" Apollo yells behind his pacifier that I now take out of his mouth.

"Hey little man!" His face lights up

"Miss you bwakey." Apollo pouts "come home pwease"

"Aww buddy I have to work for a couple hours. I wish I could come home but I promise I'll come home right after work ok buddy?"

"Otay. Miss you." He leans forward and kisses the phone before he flops down on the bed

"Hey cowboy"

"Hey how's my sunshine?"

Tear start falling down my face "Blake I'm sorr.."

"Gwen shhh don't cry sunshine and don't you dare apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for!"

"But Blake I was a total jerk to you last night! I hate that we went to bed fighting and then I woke up and you were gone. I was so scared Blake."

"Gwen I am so sorry you thought I left. I would never leave you! You have a lot on your plate and your pregnant. Gwen you have every right to not be 100% all the time."

"Blake I love you! More than you could possibly know"

"I have an idea cause that's exactly how much I love you Gwen! I gotta finish this recording sunshine, but I'll be home as soon as I can ok?"