The pain is real

How do you cope

As we pull into the er, Apollo continues to scream. We get out and Blake grabs Apollo. Apollo buries he face into Blake's neck wrapping his arms around his neck. They sit down and I go up to the desk to check in. Once checked in we sit and wait. Apollo is literally inconsolable. Blake has resorted to standing and rocking him, which seems to have relaxed him some. After what feels like forever they call our name and take us back to a room. There we wait some more for the doctor who finally comes in after 2 and a half hours of waiting. He exams Apollo and explains that he wants to run some blood work and get a chest X-ray. The doctor orders Tylenol, fluids, and a steroid breathing treatment. I text Jen and let her know what's going on and tell her to make sure she tells King first thing in the morning. My phone rings, a FaceTime call.....

"Mommy how is pollo?"

"Kingston it's 11pm you should be in the bed!"

"I know but I couldn't sleep until I knew if pollo is ok"

"I know buddy. He is good he finally fell asleep on Blake's chest. The doctors don't know what's wrong yet but the medicine they gave him has helped. He is gonna be ok baby. You need to go to bed now King. Ok?"

"Yes. Goodnight mommy love you. Love you Blake and pollo."

"Goodnight buddy"

"Gwen, how is he?" My sister in law asks worry laced through her voice

"We don't know yet. They have given medicine and it's helping. He finally fell asleep on Blake's chest. We are waiting on blood work results as well as chest X-ray results. But he is at least sleeping now."

"He really scared me Gwen. He is really sick."

"He scared us to. We are both emotional wrecks but are fighting to hold it together for pollo."

"Alright well keep me updated. I don't care what time of night it is. Do u need Todd to do anything else for you guys?"

"No I think we are ok, but thank you so much for your help."

"Of course Gwen." I hang up the phone and put my face in my hands

"Gwen baby are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm just tired cowboy. Not going to bed and being pregnant is making it really hard to stay awake just sitting here."

"Come here sunshine." Blake says sitting on the hospital bed with Apollo asleep on his chest.

I crawl up into the bed with him and cuddle into Blake, my head on his shoulder. I feel my eyes get heavy and decide not to fight it.
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We were at the hospital with Apollo until 5 am and we had voice tapings today at 8. They said he has the croup and sent him home with steroids. My mom came and got Apollo at 7 to take him back to their house to sleep while Blake and I had to work. I got a couple of hours of sleep cuddling with my boys in the hospital bed but not nearly enough. Every break we have during tapings, I'm move to Blake's lap resting my head on his chest and close my eyes. At this point I don't care if I should be this forward on set I just need to sleep. We are in the middle of a taping sessions when I suddenly have a sharp cramping pain. Blake sees me collapse in on myself, and immediately yells for a break and runs to my chair. The pain doesn't last long before it fades away. After a ton of arguing with all the boys and even Alicia, we continue with the tapings.
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Finally they call break for lunch and I just want to head back to my trailer and lay down. The pain is gone but I just feel off now. Of course Blake is right behind me. As soon as we are in the trailer he looks at me...