I Could Be Nothing But a Memory to You

Chapter 7

After I finished eating at Burger King I walked back to work and had a pretty boring day. A couple people came in, only one of them actually buying something, the rest just walking around and checking stuff out. As the day went on I got more and more upset over the fact Alex wouldn't text me back. I wished I could go back in time and take everything back but I couldn't. My feelings were written clearly on my face and Hannah kept asking me if I was okay. I wanted to shout, "Do I fucking look okay?" but I bit my tongue and tried to keep patient, she was only trying to be a good friend. By the time we were closing though Hannah had not left me alone for a single minute, she kept asking me what was wrong over and over again. "Comeeee on Leah, tell me please? Please? Pretty please? I'm worried about you! Just tell me what's wrong, please? " she begged as we stacked up boxes in the back. "Hannah. I'm fighting the urge to kill you right now but I'm starting to lose so if you want to live to see tomorrow you will STOP asking." I finally snapped. My patience was thin tonight, I couldn't deal with anyone right now. I knew instantly that she was pissed at me but I didn't really care. All I wanted right now was my bed and some nice hot chocolate. "Fine. I'm gonna leave." she said, going to her locker. Once she grabbed all her stuff she punched out and left without saying bye.

I sighed before going back to what I was doing. Once I finished doing everything that needed to be done I made sure I had everything before punching out. I walked out of the back, shutting off the lights as I did so and then I locked up before I ran to my car. I hated being that last to leave, it was really scary. Once I was in the car I took a deep breath, feeling safer almost instantly. I grabbed a piece of gum out of my pocket and started chewing it before starting the car. I was not ready to go home and clean the house that was sure to be a mess. I just wished Chase would grow up and clean a bit so I wouldn't have to work all day and then come home and clean up after him. I was so exhausted all I wanted to do was sleep. I pulled out of the parking lot and drove home in silence thinking about how bad I just wanted to fall into my soft bed and sleep for forever. When I got home I parked in my usual spot and made my way up the stairs slowly, my feet aching. When I unlocked the door and walked in my mouth dropped.

*Alex's POV*

After Leah said that to me, I spent the rest of the day moping in my bunk. All of the guys tried to get me out and cheer me up but I refused to budge until I was forced to by Matt. We had a meet and greet with a bunch of kids and I tried to put on a smile for all my fans but it was just so hard to when my heart was aching. We were sitting in the back when all the fans came rushing in and swarmed around me. "Alex! Alex!" they all screamed and I gave them all a smile. I started posing for pictures and signing things but I wasn't really paying attention. I was thinking about Leah and how she said "It doesn't matter anymore." I knew she didn't mean it but it still hurt hearing her say that something that was so important to me "doesn't matter anymore." It would always matter to me. She was the one and only girl I had ever loved and without our time together even though it was only a short time we were together I might have never known that.

When the meet and greet was over I went into the back and just laid on the couch. Zack tried to talk to me, then Rian, then Matt and finally Jack. By the time Jack got to me though I was getting really annoyed. "Jack! Just leave me alone! I'm fucking fine! Why can't you all just leave me alone! It's all I fucking want!" I shouted before putting headphones in and ignoring everyone. I saw Jack's face filled with hurt but I didn't care. Why couldn't they all just leave me alone? It was all I asked for, just 10 minutes to myself, no one bothering me, no one asking questions, just silence. A couple hours later we had finished playing and we got off stage, sweat dripping from us. None of the guys said anything to me and I ran into the shower, glad to have a couple minutes to myself. That's the only thing I hated about tour. I never had time to myself, no time to do what I want or to just think quietly. Everyone was always talking or fooling around all the time and everyone was always squished together either in the bus, a hotel room or the back of a venue.