Amnesia

No replies

Okay so this is the last chapter of this fic as I promised Kenma-GhostKing I would write another chapter! I hope you all like this and thank you for all your support!! :))

-

Kuroo's POV
I'd just sat there and watched as he was taken away. Plucked from my arms like a flower head from its stem. I hadn't even put up a fight. I didn't give him forever, I'd promised him forever and I failed.
I hate that he hadn't told me. I could've helped. I would've raised the money for the surgery, he would still be here. But it's my fault he's not. I didn't notice something was wrong. Why didn't I notice? Tomorrow was going to be difficult. October 16, his birthday.
It's been 6 months now and I've still not entirely come to terms with what's happened. Sometimes I wake up in the night expecting him to be there, instead I'm greeted with an empty left side of the bed and the silence is almost sickening as I try to fall back to sleep, gulping down the cries that threaten to escape my mouth.
We were supposed to last damnit! Why does everything good always disappear?
I quit the volleyball club, it's not the same without him. It'll never be the same again. I want to wish him a happy birthday so I do.

Sent to Kenma: happy birthday kitten!

I smile as I send the text, I haven't said that word in so long. Kitten. It sounds and looks foreign, almost like it's telling me not to use it. But my smile slowly fades as the minutes tick by and I realise there's been no reply. There never will be a reply again.
My eyes threaten to brim over at this point and I'm choking back the memories, forcing them not to reappear. But then he's there, in front of me and I almost cry out for him.

Kenma? Are you really here? I've missed you. More than you can ever imagine.

These words tumble from my tongue and my vision blurs for a split second. As it comes back into focus he's gone, swept away by the wind. I close my window, blaming it silently for taking him away.
I sit, just staring at the picture of me and him on my bedside cabinet. I watch it, hoping it'll show some sign of life. But of course it doesn't. This enrages me and I make a grab for it, I study it one last time before throwing it across the room. It shatters, the way I've been feeling since he left.
I want him back.
I miss him.
I want to forget him.
I want to be able to say his name without reopening the wounds.
I want to talk to him one last time.
So I text him.

Sent to Kenma: I miss you.
Sent to Kenma: I'm waiting for you to come back you know. Haha funny right? Normally you'd be the one waiting for me.

The tears are now falling, steadily. Then they fall like a tsunami, storms are named after people because of the destruction they leave behind once they're gone. I was his destruction.

Sent to Kenma: I wish you'd reply.
Sent to Kenma: we were supposed to be forever and now it's gone. You're gone. Everything's gone. I'm gone. My hearts gone. I want to leave this place. I want to see you again kitten. It hurts so much. Knowing where you are and not being there. It hurts.
Sent to Kenma: I want to stop loving you.
Sent to Kenma: but you'll be my first thought when I wake up tomorrow

I sit there crying. Then I hear the bell ring. I can't face anyone, not today. I ignore it, but it only rings again and I begrudgingly wipe my eyes and make my way downstairs. As I open the door I see a delivery guy, it confuses me. "Hello, are you Kuroo Tetsurou?" The guy asks me, but I don't hear him. I'm too busy staring at the box he's holding. Shit. It's the game I preordered for his birthday. Shit. Shit. Shit. My thoughts are interrupted as the guy speaks again. "Excuse me sir, am I at the right house?" I smile politely and nod, I know my voice would break if I spoke. He handed me the package and I signed for it before closing the door.
I ran to my room, ripping the packaging off the box as I went. Zombie destroyers. Was the name stating back at me. So I text him.

Sent to Kenma: hey kitten, you're present arrived.
Sent to Kenma: I wish we could play it sometime.

I laid down on my bed, watching my ceiling fan whirl round and round on repeat. My mind was becoming crowded and it was getting hard to breathe at this point.
About 3 hours had passed since the package had arrived and I'd started to drift off to sleep, thoughts of my pudding headed kitten consumed me. Then I heard it. Ding!
It was my phone. I don't think I've ever moved so fast before. My heart rate increased as I thought about it being him replying to me. Then I saw his name flash up on my home screen and I scrambled to type my passcode and open it. The message read:

Sent from Kenma: I'm sorry, but do I know you? I think you may have the wrong number.

And at that my hope sank, my heart more broken than before if that was even possible. I didn't know whether to reply or not so I simply shut off my phone and crawled onto my bed and under the covers, the covers me and Kenma had slept under together so many times before.
I think to myself; how do you heal a wound which isn't on the skin? How do you wipe a tear that never actually fell?
At this I started to drift off to sleep but not before I saw him again. I knew it wasn't him but I spoke as if he could hear me "I'm glad it was you," it came out as a whisper but his head moved to look at me and he smiled. "Kuroo, thank you for loving someone like me. I'm glad it was you too." These words were the last thing I heard him say as I yelled at him. "IDIOT! IT'LL ALWAYS BE YOU! ME AND YOU WERE MEANT TO BE, WE'LL ALWAYS BE MEANT TO BE EVEN WHEN WE'RE NOT TOGETHER!" If he heard the last words I'll never know as he'd already faded from sight.
I closed my eyes, content.
He loved me.
I loved him.
Forever hadn't lasted as long as we thought it would.
But it was long enough.
"Sleep well kitten."