LOVE IS 2 Revealing Riley

Chapter 4

"Riley tell me what happened on your 21st birthday..." I can hear Dr. Luke faintly.

"Well I was finally able to read the letter that dad wrote me. Mom took it away the same day we got them so we would not read them. It was a deed to brownstone house in Brooklyn a bond for a huge amount of money to fix and furnish the home. Jack got his letter three years before me and I was quite jealous of his house until I got my house which was 2 houses down from his. I moved into my house six months later. It was around the time I moved in to my house that the closest thing to father to me my Abuelo had a massive attack and passed away. I was beyond devastated again and could not really express myself so I was quick to get angry and anxious all over again. I had a huge chip my shoulder and would fight sometimes.

"You would fight?"

"Yes I would. I remember one time we went out to dinner and a guy grabbed Ava's butt and I flashed on the guy. It took all my brother's to pull me off the guy. For some reason Jack thinks that Johnny is the instigator of my fighting."

"Do you think he is?"

"Well I guess so he has been there every time and he eggs me on by saying things like you gonna let him do that to ya BRO, but I have a lot to lose and I am trying to control my anger which has been working."

"Ok Riley lets go over what happened over a year ago."

"Well I just finished filming a movie I had a small role in and I was excited about how things were going for me and my career. Jack had moved his girlfriend Kaylee into his house. They had been together two years and I was very happy for them. She is great for Jack, they balance each other out very well."

"Where you dating at the time?"

"I went on dates but nothing serious I never had a connection with any of the girls I dated. I think that I'm doomed to be a bachelor for the rest of my life. Girls see only the outward appearance and that bothers me because they never bother to get to know the real me. I think that may be my fault I have a lot of walls up. Anyways the girls have always been ding bats, I like girls that like to have intellectual conversations that do not start with like or umm.

My brother Jesse got engaged to his longtime girlfriend Zoe and he asked Jack and I to be in his wedding. I wanted to say no but I am not that much of jerk. We had to get these fancy tuxedos that all got sent to Jesse's mother's home for safe keeping. He wanted us to go for breakfast at his mother's home so we could get ready together and the photographer could get photos done there of the grooms men and Ava. We had to be there at nine for breakfast I never had been there, never had a reason to.

I go into the room that had the suits stored and notice all the pictures on the wall of Dad. I go into the room to get a closer look at the pictures. The photos are of them and dad all in different locations, Hawaii, Mexico and Jamaica you name it they were there even Disneyland, which is the place I had always wanted to go. I had a huge lump in my throat and started to feel very anxious.

"We had marvelous vacations, did he ever take you on vacations." A voice asks

I turn around and see Julia and say nothing I grab my suit and begin to walk away slowly.

"I didn't think so." She says full of evil.

"Mother that was rude, I mean really!" Ava screams at her mother.

"It's cool Ava, where is the restroom?" I ask.

"I'll show you." Ava says. As we walk down the hall she grabs my arm. "Ri, I am sorry about Mom."

"Don't be, I'll be out soon" I say as I walk into the bathroom.

"Ok .You know I am here for you Riley, right?" Ava says.

"Yeah Ava, I just need some time by myself."

I look in the mirror and see rage in my eyes I take deep breaths to calm myself down. I start to get dressed still hoping that I can calm myself down. I feel like am about to have an anxiety attack. I am griping the edge of sink until my knuckles are white.

"How did seeing those photos make you feel?" I hear Dr. Luke ask.

" I was angry, hurt, it made me feel that Jack and I did not matter at all. My life was a lie. He did not truly love us. I HATED him!" I was able to calm down and leave the bathroom and Jack was waiting outside the door for me.

"Riley..." Jack begins.

"It's cool Jack I needed a second." I say.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah man. I don't want to ruin Jesse's day, we'll talk later."

"Ok Bro."

We see Ava in the hall and she looks beautiful. Jack whistles and she turns around and her dimpled smiles makes us smile back at her.

"Look at my handsome brothers!" She beams at us.

"Are we ready to go?" Paul asks. "Ava are you riding with Mom?"

"Hell no she pissed me off !" She says stomping her foot. "I'm going with my bros!" She grabs Jack's and my hand and we head at the door.

The wedding is beautiful and reception is also amazing. I sat with Mama and Abuela at the reception.

"Wait your mother was at the wedding?" Dr. Luke asks.

"Yes, Jesse is very fond of mama and she of him as well. It pissed of Julia which was plus. Once Mama and Abuela left the party I started to party hard and when I say hard I mean HARD. I had a lot to drink tons of shots and brandy."

"How much have you had to drink Riley?" Jack asks.

"I don't know a lot" I laugh and stumble forward. He takes the drink out of my hand and gives it to Kaylee.

"Riley this is not the way to deal with things!" he says.

"I'm fine, I really just want to go home now." I say.

"Let me get you some coffee first and then I will put you in the car." Kaylee says with her arm around my waist guiding me to a table."

"Ok Kaylee." I slur.

She brings me some coffee and I drink it in silence as Jack is staring at me making sure I don't run off and drink more alcohol. I begin to sober a bit.

"Ready?" Kaylee asks

"Yup."

She walks me over to the car with her arm around my waist again. She sits me in the backseat.

"I'm going to check on you when I get home" Jack says.

"Ok."

The driver turns to me "Manhattan or Brooklyn Mr. Ryan?"

"Brooklyn, Please call me Riley."

"Sure thing Riley."

I finally get home and once inside all the rage that I had suppressed felt like it opened like a fire hose. I saw a picture of dad, one of the few that I had. I grabbed it and threw it against the wall every frame I owned was smashed. I punched a hole into my living room wall and screamed and destroyed everything in sight. After I was done my living room looked like a tornado hit it.

In my drunk stupor I thought it would be good idea to take a shower since I had a blood on my hand from punching the wall. I tore off the tuxedo and threw it down on the floor. I jumped in the shower and I just cried and cried I did not care that the water was scorching my back painfully. I got out and grabbed a towel and put it around my waist. I looked in the mirror and the reflection looking back was exactly like dad's so I punched the mirror it shattered into tiny pieces everywhere.

Blood was trickling down my arm so opened the drawer with the first aid kit and my old antidepressants caught my eye. I grabbed the bottle and took all the pills that where left in it. I sat on the floor and cried while I watched the blood trickle down onto my white towel. It was hard to breath and I just closed my eyes and drifted and drifted.........