Lessons Learned

Introduction

I don't know why it's so hard to let go of the things and people that harm us the most. I'm sure I could get some over complicated answer from a psychologist that might explain the why's and how's of our brain, but no one wants to hear that. What we want to hear is a clear cut answer, a realistic explination for our obviously destructive behavior so maybe we have a chance of correcting ourselves. If there was a way to clinically determine what's causing individuals to act or react the exact way they do than maybe real recovery is possible for the addict that's tried every possible avenue. It's actually a scary thought that the fate of many sick addicts recovery is in the hands of College graduated "Normal" people that have never experienced the high let alone the desire, urge and dependency for just one more hit. If they can teach college kids how to council and "rehabilitate" drug addicts than why can't they use the same approach with the addicts. If you consider the 94 or 95% relapse percentage for Meth addicts who complete treatment and achieve some sobriety isn't it safe to say that what there doing isn't working? If It were as easy as it's made to be inside the walls of the treatment facility then certainly we would see the success rate considerably higher. What they fail to teach them is how to deal with life on lifes terms without drugs. Of course a 12 step program seems like a sure safety net as long as you can commit to working the program exactly as it recommends you to with the dedication to daily meetings no matter what. It became more of a constant reminder for me that drugs and alcohol had a hold on me and I was always going to battle them. I already knew that drugs and alcohol created problems for me because I used them to avoid life on lifes terms. I never once heard anything in a 12 step meeting that taught me how to live on life's terms. It's a comforting thought that we don't have to use as long as were inside recovery walls, but what about the moment you leave and you start thinking about your alcoholic mother who needs you too bring her a twelve pack so she won't start withdrawing. How do I stop giving into temptation when It goes from a thought to a objective?

I want to be clear about the perspective I write from, I write about my first hand exposure and encounters with addiction, abuse and adversity and how I see life then and now. Does that mean my experience or outcomes are right or wrong,? No, it simply means I write to share my life with others in exchange for perspective with a intimate look inside my Beautiful Dysfunction.