Cinderello

Forbidden

Cinderella couldn't think straight anymore. She didn't say a word to her stepfamily when she carried their new belongings, not a word to Mauritio when she got the horses for the carriage, not a word on the ride back. Not a word when she opened up the light blue letters with golden ornaments that contained the invitation for everyone in this mansion to attend the upcoming ball in the castle.
She silently made lunch while the excited squeals of her stepsisters cut through the house. And she just nodded when her stepmother told her to help Gina and Tina with their dresses and accessories and their hair.
"...and you're going to sort the black pearls out of the ashes. You know, the ones that were in the vase from your father.
Gina accidentally knocked it down and they spilled into the fireplace. They're quite worth something so be sure to pick out every single one. You should be finished by the time we are back."
Silence.
"Why can't I go?"
"What?"
"The invitation referred to everyone living in this house. Why should I stay at home?"
Gloria seemed taken aback. Then her facial expression changed. "You are nothing more than a maiden in this house. Your father is never here so I am to watch over you. He wouldn't choose you anyways." She mocked.
Cinderella was confused. "Choose?"
Gloria raised an eyebrow. "The ball is the prince's bride search. But you wouldn't have a chance anyways." She turned around and left, leaving Cinderella utterly shocked.
Bride search? And he wanted her of all people to come?
Maybe it was better like that. Maybe she shouldn't go, maybe it wasn't her destiny.
But...
If it'd happen... That he, by any chance, chose her...
Cinderella turned silent again for the rest of the day, her head working nonstop on a plan how to get to the ball tonight.
She had no dress, no horse, no invitation to show the guards at the entry and no money for every single penny that was send by her father was spent or kept by mother dragon Gloria.
When the evening dawned and Cinderella sat down on the wooden bench in the front garden, taking a break from brushing the path leading to the mansion, she noticed two mice hushing around beneath her.
She pulled out a small piece of bread that she smuggled out of the kitchen at dinner. She had planned to eat it now but the the tiny and bony bodies of the two  made her laying it on the ground. She watched them carefully approaching it and nibbling a few crumbs of the bread.
A sigh escaped her full female lips and for some reason she silently started talking to the two mice.
"I know what it's like to have so much hunger. And to have your body don't feel right. Too small, too tiny, too thin.
I hope you haven't been that way since you were born, unlike me. From the very first day everything felt so wrong. My chest, my shoulders, my face, my voice, my legs, my hands, my fingers, my hair, my clothes. I could go on and on about so many things...how I wish I could be a boy. Broad shoulders, flat chest, deep voice, edgy face, strong hands, short hair, trousers all day long. I'd be respected and treated for what I can not what I am. "
She leaned back and looked up into the sky that slowly swifted into different shades of red.
"The prince must look wonderful tonight. Even better than usual. Of course he will, it's his bride search. I wish I could go there. Not as Cinderella but as my real self. As a boy, a man. I want to gain his attention from the way I am inside."
She lowered her eyes back on the mice that stood on two feet supported by the rest of the bread looking up to her as if they'd understand.
"You probably don't even understand a word I say. Eat up, little ones, so I can finish here before I have to sort out the pearls from the ashes."
The two obeyed immediately by rolling their kindly shared food into the wild grown bushes behind the bench.
Cinderella finished her work and returned to the mansion hall where Gloria, Gina and Tina were ready to leave. She didn't say anything, just knelt down in front of the fireplace. She already started while the three witches headed for the carriage at the front gate.
As soon as the door fell shut tears broke free from behind her eyes. Her heart ached and it was hard to breath, not only because of the upcoming ashes' dust. Her slender fingers shook and she couldn't find one single pearl. Suddenly a sob made it's way up her throat by which even she was surprised.
Although she had known, although she had told herself not to care, hopes had still sneaked themselves inside her mind. They made her imagine all the chances and opportunities for a better life with the man she adored. A life without having to pretend constantly.
It had been a way out, a way to be able to live with herself but now everything had shattered into pieces. Spilled into hopelessness like black pearls hiding in ashes.
And she wasn't able to find them again.