The Bad Boy's Chain

Chapter Two, Part Three - Dirty

The county probation office was a squat grey building, downtown, snuggled by the police department and the gas station. I scowled at my surroundings–dirty concrete, chain link fences, and orange suits catcalling as they collected trash from the side of the road. If I went through with Carlos' plan, this place could be my future. I shook my head down at my maroon Doc Martens. What the hell have I gotten myself into? For fuck's sake--I got perfect attendance in high school! I was voted mostly likely to edit the Constitution! Carlos is right, I am a Mary Sue!

"Oy!"

I jumped, catching sight of Jesse, who had just wrapped his knuckles on the Sedan's hood. "Hey! Done so soon?" I straightened, slapping on a hasty smile. He was irritated.

"Anything you wanna tell me about?" Jesse didn't leave much distance between us. He stood before me, waiting, his hands folded across his broad chest.

I blinked. "What-do-you-mean?"

"Oh, I dunno. Something you've been holding onto? A dirty little secret you can't hold back any longer? Because it would be wrong? " The glare didn't mar his perfect features, it amplified them.

I blinked, mentally crunching the list.

The surprise party.

The job with Carlos.

Turning in Jesse's dad and potentially ruining their lives.

That one thing.

That other one thing...

"Uh-h-h, Jess, would you like to be more specific, please?"

"You've got a man! And since bloody when?"

I stared at Jesse. The shock was genuine. "I don't have a boyfriend, crazy."

"Yeah? Then why's your mum texting me for more details, hm? She says you brought him round the house! Well, I hope he treated Billy with the respect he deserves!"

"Oh, Jesus." This wasn't how I planned on revealing things. Or when. I rubbed my face, pressing my eyes beneath my glasses. "Look, Jess, I don't have a boyfriend, okay? The truth is, Carlos dropped by this afternoon and you and I needed a good cover story. Bottom line--you're welcome, mate."

His face fell as indignation was swiftly replaced by guilt. I wasn't the only one with secrets... "Well, if you obliged Carlos then yeah-cheers-thanks-for-nothing. What did he say?"

"What you should have." His arms dropped as mine folded. "Jess, how much money do you owe the people he works for?"

Jesse exhaled, letting his head sink backwards as he grabbed the sides of his neck with both hands. Caught--and he knew it. No more hiding from this. "Okay, so, like maybe a couple too many pounds. Ballpark range, y'know..." He nodded, squinting in the other direction.

"You can't give a ballpark range without numbers, Jesse. How. Much. Money. In Washingtons--not the Queen."

"Alright! Cool your bloody biscuits!" He lowered his gaze to the ground, nudging a rock with his Vans. "Fifty."

"Dollars?"

"Okay, now you're just insulting me--"

"Jesse, focus."

"Thousand. Fifty, thousand. I owe fifty thousand dollars--which I wouldn't have had to worry about if I'd just been smart and gone back to stupid London."

"Well, genius, why didn't you!" I socked his arm. "And don't give me some crap about how it's because you like it here. I know there's another reason." It wasn't just about him 'having a life here', because by staying in Harbor, his life was exactly what Jesse was risking.

He bit his lower lip, silenced by a wave of hurt. "You know why, Shar." We both looked away.

The Incident.

It hadn't been mentioned since before Jesse left and it was too soon to bring it up now.

"Jess... I..." Don't know what to say, at all.

It was my fault. I'm so sorry...

Jesse cleared his throat. "Didn't matter though, right?" He jammed his hands in his pockets, leaning against the car. I joined him at his side, timidly aware of his chain as it brushed against my leg. Quietly, we watched yardbirds clear the lot across the street.

"So, what happened to the money, huh? You totally spent it, didn't you?" I jostled Jesse in the ribs until he cracked a smile.

"Yeah, spent it on a bunch of invisible shit from the invisible store." He punched the air, and I knew the only person he was disappointed in was himself. "I didn't spend the money--lost it on a run. Pigs came round--nearly messed the job--so I ditched the money. Came back for it the next day..." He shrugged. "It was gone."

"And what? You thought these people would magically forget you owed them a bunch of money? Jess! Why didn't you tell me, I would have helped you!"

"And that's the problem, innit?" He stepped back, hands in his pockets again. "These people are dangerous--Carlos included. You can't get involved. I don't want your help."

"Wait, Jesse--"

"No." He straightened, turning his full body towards mine. "Whatever Carlos said, forget it--and you can forget about him as well. It's my problem and I'll solve it. All you have to worry about... is attending my surprise party." He winked.

My mouth fell open. I scoffed. "Not cool! Who told you!"

"Psh-h-h-h, it was easy. You know I can get anything out of Aidan."

"Damnit! You better not say a word! I'm not kidding, Jess! If Kerry finds out I ruined her big surprise, she'll kill us both!"

Jesse smiled, zipping his lips. "Although, I am shocked this was her idea. Usually, Kerry's not this... interested. Well, I mean she's interested, just in other things." The corner of his mouth turned in an almost-smile.

"Why wouldn't she be interested? It means she cares." I gave a one-armed shrug, glancing down as I tucked my hair behind my hair. "She wants to be with you."

"If she wants to be with me she doesn't have to throw me a party, she can just say it."

I swallowed. My mouth was a desert. "Maybe she can't."

"Maybe she should--maybe I'm waiting."

There were no red lights or screaming alarms, but there should have been. I sidled away from Jessie, reverting to our old friend, distance. "Well, don't push it. I'm sure she'll tell you when she's ready." I walked around the car, to the passenger side door, realizing there was something else that needed very much to be said. "And for the record, Jess... it did matter. Then you left." He didn't follow me into the car right away, instead pausing just long enough for me to relive my worst mistake.

Inside, Jesse smiled, turning on the radio like nothing ever happened. Just like The Incident, and the ugliness from the fallout, we went back to pretending the truth didn't exist.

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