Belle

The return

Belle

 Waking up the next day with a pounding headache isn't exactly what I planned but from what I can't remember it was a pretty good night. For instance, there's empty bottles, food and passed out girls everywhere. 

Personally I'm on top of the wardrobe for some reason, which is a bit of a dilemma. I don't have room to sit up so have to awkwardly look around from my perch for some way to get down, having to resort to falling part of the way. God knows how the hell I got up there. 

I trudge to the bathroom, recoiling at the sight of myself. I have gaudy makeup smeared across my face and my hair has some sort of crusty spray in colourant in it as it's now a near black colour.

Well that must have been quite the final hurrah with the girls. 

God, I don't remember much. I remember being on the phone with Beast but what he said is a blur. Mostly stuff about smoking weed and fucking other girls I think. 

I scrub at my face with some makeup wipes that have been left on the counter and rinse my hair under the faucet, seeing the murky water remove any trace of the colourant with the aid of some shampoo I find. I feel utterly disgusting. 

There's no sound indicating the other girls have woken up yet so I locate my overnight bag and dress in some comfy black sweats and a tight black sports bra, glancing disgustedly at the shirt I should have worn which I must have used to spray my hair. It's fine, it's all girls here so a sports bra is decent. After brushing my teeth, I finally get out of the bathroom, seeing all of the girls still passed out except for one. Jas is missing. I frown and wander out of the dorm they all shared into the girls lounge instead. 

I hear a bark break the silence and near jump out of my skin, glancing down to see a shaggy brown dog bouncing at my feet. "Hey hey hey, where's your owner little guy?" I ask, kneeling down to stroke at his soft neck and check for a tag. It doesn't have an owner's contact details but I don't need it. 

Sultan. He's not a little puppy anymore.

But the question stands. Where is his owner? 

"I called you" I hear his voice and feel the blood rush to my pounding head. "I figured out after the first few voicemails that I left that you got a new phone for Christmas. But I still called you." I stand up to look at the ghost of the former Beast. 

He's dressed in ripped black jeans and a tight black T-Shirt which displays the sleeve that he's had classily done all in black along one arm. His long hair has been cropped short, longer on top but combed back into his backwards snapback. I remember him doing that to reveal his haircut to me all that time ago. He's heartbreakingly handsome but he doesn't look like Adam. He looks like your typical playboy, no soul visible. 

I swallow hard. 

"I still think about you every day. I can't do anything that doesn't remind me of you" He laughs wryly "I tried to replace you with models but none of them were as beautiful as you. None of them made me feel like you did" He steps closer to me whilst I stay stationary. His close proximity allows me to smell the musty smoke that covers up his natural moreish scent. 

"You're way too good for me" he breathes, his emotionless shell cracking as his head falls to the crook of my neck, arms wrapping around my waist. "But I'm selfish" he finishes as my arms automatically wrap around him, missing his feel. I can feel his muscles have near doubled as any softness from him has disappeared.

"I love you but I fucked everything up. I'm so sorry Belle". He knows all the right words to say to me but as much as I want to succumb to him entirely, I know that sorry isn't enough for everything he's done to me. 

"You're sorry?" I step out of his arms and frown up at him. I know I must smell like alcohol right now from the sticky feeling coating my skin but that cigarette smell is suddenly overwhelming for me. "I waited every day for you to come back to me. Sure, you tried calling my old phone but when that didn't work you didn't try and contact me another way. This is the twenty first century, you can contact anyone with ease on the internet! You left me and Annie and everyone else waiting for you to come back. We had to see you all over the media gallivanting along with your family and these beautiful models. We felt replaced! Angry! You say you thought about me but you obviously didn't because you didn't seem to think about how much we were hurting". My eyes are filled with tears but I fight through it to allow me to see his heartbroken face. 

"I love you Beast but you are selfish. You think you were doing me a favour by leaving?" I ask, remembering the call now I can see him. "You obviously weren't. I've been a shell of myself Adam. You put what you thought I'd need above what I actually did. Do. Urgh, why does my heart have to hurt every time I think of you" I finish almost in a whimper. 

"Baby I'm sorry. I'm here and I'm sorry. I want to change. For you. I've enrolled in college and handed Gary over my business. You're right. That isn't what I want at all" I'm taken back as he steps forward and takes my hand 

"I want to write, I've already written loads but I want to be published. That's always been my dream but I've always been told how unrealistic it is and how I'm not good enough. I still want to try. Obviously that's not what I'm going to university to do. I'm training to take on one of dad's businesses but when I'm ready. And I chose a hospital in a fairly poor area because I'm hoping to help the people there that deserve it" He looks at me earnestly and I feel my heart swell. 

"Adam" I whisper, pulling his hands towards me and leaning up to give him a slow, lingering kiss. 

One that screams I missed you and I love you. I hope we're going to be alright but only time can tell. 

I'm willing to fight for us, he just needs to show me he'll change too.