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Saturday 6/11/11

I woke up to a nurse telling me that my Mom was here to see me. This was a different nurse than yesterday, but in a way she seemed softer and nicer. The nurse left with a small smile and told me she would be right in. Less than ten minutes later I hear a soft knock on my door. The door creaks open and i see my mom's face. She looks sober and concerned, that's a happy surprise. I can't help the smile on my lips. I see that her hand is placed behind her back holding onto someone else's hand. I see the person that the hand belongs to and the smile whips off my face.

My vision goes blurry. My surroundings are disappearing and I can see are the events from two days ago. I can see him chasing me as my om watches. I can see him mercilessly kicking me into the couch over and over again. I feel my body jerking around uncontrollably, but my mind is so far gone i can't think. I can vaguely hear the monitor by my bed beeping. Doctors push through the door and into my room where they stick a needle in my thigh. My body slows it's rapid movements and i begin to be able to see again. Once the doctors are done taking my vitals and telling me that i had a seizure, my brain begins to come back to normal. I notice that my mom and that man are out of my room. I remember now. I remember everything. That man's name is Wyatt and he did this to me. 

I cried alot in the hopital room that day. No one would tell me when i got to leave or where my mom went. I was just about to fall asleep when the curly red haird woman came back into my room. This time she took the seat closest to me and i could see the hint in her eye of sadness. The way her face drooped and her light smile showed carefullness in her words, was only proof to me that she knew everything. She told me she was a social worker and that I didn't have to lie anymore. I kept up my act, saying that she was crazy and i had just fallen down some stairs. She tilted her head slightly and sighed. 

FInally she told me what i could not handle. She told me that everything was gonna be okay. I sat up in my bed despite how much it hurt, and broke into angry tears. "How dare you say that to me! Life is never going to be okay! My Father was taken from us before i even knew him! My Mother would rather have the buzz of being drunk than a hug from her own child! I was forced into having the guy try to take my Mother's place like he was nothing! Then he beat me. He beat me till i was forced to come here and deal with you who think's that i'm just another one of your pity cases and you can make everything all better. You think you can tell me that everything's gonna be all happy rainbows, but guess what lady fairytales aren't real! Nothing gets better and it never will." 

I sobbed and sobbed trying to wipe away they tears from my face, but they were coming to fast, drenching my hospital gown in salty water. I felt her hand against my back and the weight of her body sit on my bed next to me. I leaned into her,  laying my head on her lap. She softly cooed to me and petted her hand down my back until i calmed down. I lifted my heavy head off of her and looked her in the eye. I could tell my eye's were puffy and red, but i was to scared to be embarrassed. "W-what's gonna happen to me now?" She told me that we would talk about it in the morning and for right now i needed to rest. I nodded my head and hugged her before she could get up."I'm sorry for yelling." I sniffled and she told me to never be sorry for letting out emotions. I laid my head back and closed my sore eyes, falling asleep within seconds. 

I didn't wanna wake up, so every time my eyes open i would force them closed and fall asleep once more. It was around eleven in the morning when i realized i could sleep no more and sat up. My face was still puffy and my neck was aching from the way i slept on it. I felt like a small child again. I wanted the girl back in my room because for some reason, she felt like my safety. She let me cry despite the fact i yelled, and didn't push me away. She was the only one i could trust in this moment. I asked the doctor for her, but he said she wouldn't be back till tonight. I waited patiently until that time came. 

I didn't sleep throughout the day, probably because i slept so late in the morning, so when she finally came back I was getting a bit sleepy. I smiled and sat up more to ensure i didn't fall asleep. "Cassandra, I want you to know that i am here for you. I will not hurt you and I want you to be able to trust me. " I looked down at my sheets. "I do trust you. Can you please tell me where I go from here because the more I think about it, the more scared i get." She nods and uncrosses her legs. "Well, we start off by you talking to me and a few other people to make sure you know you will be safe from now on." She paused, "Then we assign you to a foster facility where I will check in with you monthly." I felt my heart crack, but nodded anyway. This was going to be a big change, whether it was going to be good or bad, i wasn't sure.