Sketched Out

Chapter 3

"Charlee, do you have a secret?" I asked her, breaking the silence.

She lolled her head over to look at me, her demeanor so relaxed and calming, her eyes glistening as she looked at me with thoughtfulness. She shrugged, as she took the hairwrap out of her hair, letting her long hair fall in waves down her shoulders, onto the pillow, as she laid her head back down and answered with, "Everyone has a secret."

"I want to know yours," I said. "Do you think you could tell me?"

"You already know everything about me, Joan," she pointed out.

"Everything?"

"Well, yes. Some of my secrets include... that well, I've always wanted to be in love. I don't know what it feels like..." her gaze briefly returned to the stars before they rested on me again, a weariness in them. "Joan, do you know what it feels like to be in love?"

"Yes," I answered a little too quickly.

"What's it like? Is it wonderful like all the songs describe it to be so?"

"It's wonderful when it lasts. Sometimes it's horrible and destructive and unfair. Like, when someone you love doesn't love you back."

"Has that ever happened to you?"

"I don't think I loved h--" I almost said her, and I quickly corrected myself. "Him. I don't think I've ever loved him, but yes, I liked him, he didn't like me."

She frowned. "I don't see how he couldn't," she sighed, but gave me a reassuring smile. "Do you love someone now?"

"I'm pretty sure I do, actually," I answered her, a little uncomfortable, as I shifted my attention towards the sky, but her gaze was still on me.

"Who is it?"

"I can't tell you." I said, smirking.

"But I thought we were bestfriends."

I turned to her, my eyes searching for any sort of emotion I could read from her. But I couldn't tell anything. I pursed my lips. "We are," I said. "But... I think you would be a little weirded out if I told you who it was."

"Do I know him?" she pressed.

I smirked at the world 'him.'

"You could say that, yes, you do know the person I love."

She narrowed her eyes. "Why can't you tell me?"

I sighed, and stayed silent for a little while.

"What if the person I love was a girl?"

I read her expression carefully. Her eyes widened, but she didn't look disgusted or scared. That was good.

"Well, I don't think that would make a difference," she said. "Love is love."

I smirked at her. "Well, you got a secret out of me. Let's hear one about you."

She looked a little more comfortable as she settled back into her pillow, her eyes returning to the stars as she pondered.

After a few minutes of silence she looked over at me, and she took in a unsteady inhale.

"Joan, you often have me questioning my sexuality for quite some time now."

My eyebrows raised, and I was completely caught off guard by that. "I.. what?"

She sighed, and looked towards the sheets, flustered. "I know, it's weird." she mumbled.

"No no," I said. "I was just suprised... do I really?"

"Yes." she said, looking relieved. "I... often think to myself, that, I think I might know what love feels like, and that I know I only feel it when I'm close to you."

I gave Charlee a warm smile, "I'm so happy to hear that." was all I could muster.

She smiled shakily, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "You love someone else, though," she prompted, yawning a little at the end of her sentance.

I bit the inside of my lip, as she stared at me with her wide green eyes, her skin light moonlight.

I continued to look at her, hesitating. I've never felt anything so alien to me. No one has ever made me feel so... nervous before. So scared, so willing though. It had just occured to me that I've never been in love before; but I was now, and it was such a blissful, happy, dream-like sort of state that it was almost so complex it was hard to even comprehend.

I bravely reached for her hand under the covers, intertwining her fingers with mine, and I gave her a smile as I pulled her into me. Charlee draped her arm across my stomach and placed her head under my chin, and we stared up at the millions of stars specked across the black sky. And we said nothing.