Speaking Isn't My Strong Point

FIVE

The blinding light shone in my eyes as I opened them after my dreadful sleep. I kept getting dreams about my dad and mostly them. It was awful.

I kept waking up last night with cold sweat dripping down my arms and face. My body trembled in bed and I couldn't breathe. It was horrific.

Dragging myself up and out of bed, I sleepily walked over to the bathroom and took off my clothes for a relaxing shower. Slipping under the warm sprinkles of water, I closed my eyes briefly. I loved how the warm water relaxed my muscles. It really was my favourite part of the day.

I thought about yesterday and the letter. I thought of Mason and his cousin. It was like the shower was my own personal thinking space.

Once my skin started to go all wrinkly, I decided to finally get out and get dressed for the day.

I changed into my nice warm cream jumper, my black leggings and paired that with my black combat boots and a grey scarf.

Staring at myself in my full length mirror, I couldn't help but sigh. I wasn't perfect and I didn't ever want to be. I just wanted to know why my dad left before even saying a proper good bye. Was I too ugly to be in his presence? Did I remind him too much of my mum? I did look an awful lot like my mum and I knew it hurt him whenever he had looked at me.

But that pained look on his face when I used to borrow one of my mum's dresses was gone. The chances of seeing it again was low. Very low. It would be almost two months soon enough and I thoroughly doubted that he would come back in that amount of time. The chance of seeing my dad again was low.

If they managed to send me letters, then my dad must have not taken care of them, which meant he either died or was being held hostage by them. I didn't know what one I preferred. Both of them were harrowing thoughts.

Jogging downstairs, I headed towards the kitchen for my granola bar. I was just about to reach into the box for my granola bar when my hand didn't make contact with any delicious bars.

"Oh no," I whispered, facepalming myself. I forgot I had to buy more of those.

"It's ok, Leia. All you have do is pick up your precious box of granola bars, pay for them and head straight home," I reminded myself as I felt my heart start to speed up. "There's no talking involved whatsoever."

Grabbing my fluffy coat, I slipped it on but not before checking my pockets for my wallet first.

Fortunately, it was there and I slammed the door shut behind me. Locking it afterwards, I made my way to my favourite local shop.

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Scanning the snack aisle for my beloved granola bars, I snatched the box off of the shelf when my eyes connected with the words granola on the box. I wasn't obsessed I just really liked them.

Making my way over to one of the free self-service tills, I shoved the  granola box along the scanner. Placing it down on the bag area, I got out my purse and added a pound, three 10p coins, one 5p coin and one 2p coin into the slot.

With no change, I took the receipt and my granola box that was rightfully mine. Luckily, my favourite shop had installed self-service check-outs so I could check-out myself without having to speak to anyone.

Exiting the shop, I beamed in glee. I had my granola bars.

After such a long journey, I decided to stop at the park to eat one of my granola bars. I hadn't eaten anything that day so I sat down on one of the wooden park benches and tore open the granola box.

With one amazing bite of the granola bar, I was at ease. Something I hadn't felt in a while. I started to think about how lonely I really was. I had no family members to speak to and the last people I had spoken to was Mason and Ana. They weren't even my friends. I didn't have any.

I sighed. I was disappointed in myself. I hadn't made any friends and I was seventeen. I was a seventeen year old with no friends and hardly a family. It wasn't.right. This wasn't what my mum would have wanted for me. She would had said for me to, "Hold my head high and wait for the ones that come along and listen."

"I'm trying mother," I whispered, a tear dripping down my cold cheek. "I really am trying. I just can't make friends."

I was crying again. I promised myself I wouldn't let a single tear fall from my eye and I broke it. Just like how I broke everything in my path. Slouching back in my seat, I breathed up at the sky, hoping my mum was watching me from up there.

"Please don't be disappointed in me mummy," I cried, letting the tears fall down my flushed red face. "I try my best."

I exhaled shakily and wiped my eyes to stop me from shedding more tears. Crying wouldn't solve anything. Talking to someone would, but I couldn't speak to anyone because I was a pathetic human being who couldn't do a simple task such as making friends. I couldn't just let my walls down for others though. I built those walls to keep others out so they didn't get hurt. I couldn't have people getting hurt because of my dad's stupid mistakes.

A dog barked loudly, which made me jump. The dog was very small and yappy. I hated those dogs.

"I'm so sorry about Pips!" A girl gushed as she ran up to pick up her dog, which was still scaring the life out of me.

"Pips! Why run away from me when you know I can find you?" She spoke sternly to the dog.

I studied the girl as she patted her knees that were covered in dirt. The girl had flowy, long black hair that reached the floor. It was like Rapunzel's, but a different colour. It was neatly in a plait, which would look even more amazing with pretty flowers inserted into the braid.

That girl was giving me Indian vibes, which intrigued me. But once again I  could only stare. No words left my lips.

"Sorry again about, Pips!" She apologised. "He's very...excitable."

"I-It's alright," I squeaked, nodding just incase she didn't hear me.

It went silent between us, until the girl spoke up again.

"My name's Ashley," she spoke up, glancing down at her hands that were covered in Henna ink. "Yours?"

"Leia," I replied, clutching my granola box tightly.

"What? Like the Star Wars character?" She laughed.

"Indeed," I answered, rolling my eyes. Atleast everyone had made a remark on my name. Mason didn't though. I doubted he even knew my name, considering I never answered him.

"Well I've got to go now," she announced. "My parents will be expecting me home."

"Y-Yes ofcourse," I stammered. "Mine too."

"Strict parents we have," she stated, putting the lead back onto Pips. "Hopefully, I will see you around."

She turned around and walked back to the direction Pip had came from. Her beautiful hair was swishing side to side as she strolled along the pathway. I had spoken to someone other than Mason and Ana. What happened was out of the ordinary and it shouldn't happen again.

Remembering I had just told her a lie about my parents, I groaned aloud. If I saw her again, then she would soon find out that I was lying. Ashley was sweet and kind, but I had just flat out lied to her. I was a terrible human being.

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Hello. You guys are probably all saying, "She has updated her book. Wow, that's a first!"
Anyway I hoped you liked this chapter. I worked very hard on it, even though it isn't that long. Please vote I would really appreciate it and feel free to leave comments. Please respect each other in the comments also. Be respectable, awesome human beings you are :)

Thank you for reading and have a lovely day my lovelies <3
Gem Gems