Finding Franco

14 | sad

"Do you hate me now?" I whimper.

Franco keeps his head down and plays with his fingers. He looks up at me with tears in his eyes. Tears fall down my face seeing him so broken. It hurts knowing I'm the one who's breaking him.

"Please don't do this," he begs quietly. "I'm promise you, I'll do anything. I'll work in the mornings while you're sleeping so I'll be home during the day and you can go to college and follow your dreams and...and..." he trails off.

I shake my head and run my hands through my hair. "I can't, Franco, I just can't. You think I want to do this? This is our fault."

He falls down to his knees and looks up at me. "Baby, please. We can find a way through this. We can."

I laugh humorlessly. "You don't know that." I close my eyes and let the tears fall. I cover my mouth to keep the sobs in. I fall to the ground, loosing all the energy to stand.

Franco hugs me and I use his comfort selfishly. I crawl into a fetus position. I should be the one comforting him. This was my decision, not his.

"Please forgive me," I whisper into thin air.

But Franco heard me. As always.

He looks down at the floor, his eyes empty. They were lifeless, he was staring at nothing but he looks so focused.

I scream out of nowhere. Franco's head snaps up and he tries to comfort me but I push him away. I kick and scream, my arms flaring around crazily.

I scream and scream until my throat gets raw and I couldn't fight anymore.

This was my choice. My fault.

I jump up on the bed, sweaty and breathing heavily. I'm not sure if I was having a panic attack or not. Franco wakes up immediately.

"Bad dream?" he asks lowly.

I gulp and nod, removing my hair from my face. It was still dark outside, only being four a.m.

He lays watching me. I don't know what I'm doing that's so interesting but he doesn't look away.

"I'm sorry for waking you up," I say. "Twice."

He shakes his head and waves me off. "You can wake me up anytime, sweetheart."

I cover his hand with my own and crawl on top of him. He puts his hands on my hips and tucks my hair behind my ear. He doesn't seem to mind my sweaty face after the nightmare.

I'm close enough to feel his breathing. "Tell me what happened," he whispers. His breath tickles against my skin.

I look deep into his eyes and lay my chin on my hand. "We were fighting. It was intense," I say quietly.

He tilts his head. "What were we fighting about?"

I trace his jawline with my finger. He shudders and quickly snatches my hand away and intertwine our fingers, putting it beside his head.

"Tell me," he urges.

"I don't know," I say, not wanting to remember the nightmare.

"Do you want to go home?" he asks. "Your mom's probably worried sick and the dance is coming up."

"It's tomorrow?" I ask, dumbfounded.

He nods. "Yes, I knew you'd forget."

I pat his chest with my free hand. "Well, then lets go home!"

♠♠♠

The house is silent when I come in. No one was home and it feels like they've abandoned me. That dream was getting to my head. I know my parents wouldn't do that to someone as broken as me.

I stomp my way to my room. Shortly after, Caroline peaks her head through the door.

I raise an eyebrow. "You can come in..." I say lowly and unsurely.

She slowly takes small steps towards me. She lays on her stomach and plays with her fingers. "Mom was worried about you," she says quietly.

"What did she say?"

Caroline shrugs. "Just that she wishes things were like before. When you were at college and that being the only problem she had when it comes to you."

I look down. "I'm really tired, Care. It's been a long ride."

"It's barely noon," she points out.

"Well, I want to sleep in," I snap.

Her eyes widen and she looks away. "Are you still coming to the dance?"

"Yes."

"Okay." She quickly leaves my room.

I remember to text Franco to tell him I got inside safely. If I didn't answer, he would've thrown a fit.

I look at the pill bottle on my nightstand that's calling my name. I snatch it and pop two pills in my mouth.

The drugs work quickly and for that, I'm grateful.

♠♠♠

Apparently the pills worked too well. Franco calls me in the middle of the night. I sigh and drop my head.

"Hello?" I answer lowly.

There was glass shattering and voices yelling. "Hey, baby," he says happily.

"Where are you doing up so late?"

He chuckles for a long time. "I wanted to hear your voice."

"Franco...are you drunk?" I rub my forehead.

"Psst, no." He laughs. "Oh, I've missed you, baby. Badly."

"It's only been a couple of hours," I say, sleep begging for me.

"No it hasn't," he says almost angrily. "It's been a year."

"We don't need two people forgetting our relationship, now do we?" I say.

He laughs. "Oh, you're so smart, baby. I told you, you were too good for me."

I close my eyes. "Go to sleep, Franco. It's late and tomorrow's the winter dance."

"Do you wanna know why I call you baby?" he slurs.

"No."

"It's because I miss my baby," he says sadly. He sounds like a little kid who broke his toy on Christmas. "And my baby is the most important thing in the world to me."

"Get off the phone," a deadly vice says.

"Back the fuck off," Franco snaps.

"I said get off the phone," the voice repeats.

"Leave me alone, B!" Franco yells.

I hear thumping and the phone shifting. They were probably playing tug of war with the phone. I hear murmuring but I couldn't form out the words.

"Leave her alone."

"She's no good for you."

"Stop fighting me."

"LET HER GO!"

I hear crashing and thumping. The phone call hangs up. I sigh and put my phone back on the nightstand.

I sleep to run from reality.