Human Journals

Chapter 5: Rescue

    "HELP!!!" 

   "That was Mabel's voice! Hurry!" Dipper shouted over the roaring engine of the golf cart. Drei nodded, clearly as determined as Dipper was. 

   "Hold on!" he told his friend as they sped over another bump. Dipper had been white knuckling it for the whole ride, surprised at how fast Drei was able to go.

   "Don't worry, Mabel! We're coming!" Dipper called out to his sister, wherever she was. Drei turned the wheel, and the cart rounded a corner. There, farther down the long path, was a group of gnomes. As they got closer, the boys realized just what the creatures were surrounding. It was Mabel! 

  "The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody," Jeff said to Mabel, as they attacked her. "Just, ha ha, get her arm there, Steve!"

   Steve then began to bite Mabel's sweater sleeve. She gasped and quickly punched him off, sending him flying into a tree, vomiting. Drei and Dipper gave each other awkward glances. 

   "What the heck is going on here?!" Dipper exclaimed, capturing the gnomes and Mabel's attention. One gnome glared and dashed towards Drei, hissing. Drei blinked, not sure if he should feel threatened or not. Judging by the fact that the gnome was taking forever just to run a few inches, he decided that he shouldn't be too scared. In order to put the poor little guy out of his misery, Drei just kicked the gnome to the side. 

   "Guys!" Mabel shouted over the screaming of the gnomes, "Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks!" Just then, a gnome grabbed her hair and pulled it. She yelped, struggling to get him off.

   Dipper looked over at Drei with surprised eyes. "Huh, we were way off." he stated. Drei nodded and shrugged.

   "If this was some kind of story though, that was amazing foreshadowing." he said. Dipper agreed. 

   "Uh, guys! You're getting a little distracted!" Mabel shouted, still prying off multiple gnomes. Dipper looked over at Drei again, who had already conjured the correct page. 

   "Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest," Drei read, "weaknesses: unknown." Dipper rolled his eyes. So far, this rescue wasn't going so great.

   "Aw, c'mon!" Mabel complained. At that moment, a group of gnomes jumped up and began to attack Mabel's head. "AH! Get 'em off! Off! OW!" she screamed as the gnomes tackled her to the ground. 

   "Great, now go get the ropes, Carson!" Jeff ordered. The said gnome scurried off behind a stump and began to pull out the ropes. Dipper glared at Jeff and stomped over to him. 

   "HEY! Let go of my sister!" he yelled, readying the bat in his hands just in case. Jeff smiled nervously.

   "Oh, um, hey there," he stammered, "you know, this is all just a big misunderstanding. You see, Mabel's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity!" 

   Drei scowled. "Oh, yeah. That doesn't sound dangerous at all." he said sarcastically. Jeff smiled awkwardly. 

  "But it's true," he said, then looked over at Mabel, who had now been tied to the ground, "isn't that right, honey?"

   Mabel glared at him. "You guys are butt-faces!" she exclaimed. A gnome quickly covered her mouth and smiled sheepishly. Drei bit his lip, trying to hold in his laughter at the insult Mabel gave. 

   Dipper, however, wasn't amused at all. He held up the bat that was in his hand and pointed it towards Jeff. "Give her back right now, or else!"