Unconditional (Sequel to Senior Year - jb)

22. The Feeling

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Doctor Kate told me everything what I needed to now whatever my decision was going to be. She told me I was 4 weeks pregnant and that I had 7 weeks to decide what I was going to do. But what was more important was that Kate didn't judge me. She understood me, she understood what I was feeling. At the moment, everyone who knew about it wasn't judging me. Even though they were only Kate and Abbie. So it was so far so good. But what scared me the most was that what was waiting for me outside the door. Justin, who knew nothing and he was just as broken as I was. Just an hour ago I had been thinking very hard about calling it quits with him. And it hurt. It hurt me so much. The way I was yelling at him and the way he was yelling at me, we were never like that. This whole new situation was breaking us into pieces.

I was still in a big shock and had million different thoughts swirling around in my head. I was on the fence about keeping the baby and not keeping it. I didn't know. How could I know? It was going to change my whole life, my future, my everything. Was I even ready to take that kind of a risk?

Kate took the IV off from my arm but told me that I could rest for a while if I still felt a little dizzy and nausious. I still wanted to be alone so I asked Kate if she could tell Justin to wait for a moment. I had no idea what I was going to say.

The door slammed shut when Kate left, leaving me alone with Abbie in a peaceful silence.

"Ava, listen to me." Abbie spoke up, taking my hand into hers, "Whatever you decide, I'm gonna be on your side. No one is pressuring you into anything. I know this is a stressful situation and I know things with Justin are not going well. But think about the choices, don't jump into a decision without really thinking about it. I was just as shocked as you are when I found out I was expecting Bri but Chad was very supportive so it wasn't a hard decision."

I watched as she talked to me, looking at me in the eye like she wanted her thoughts to travel into my mind. I knew she didn't want me to go through abortion. But I, myself, wasn't so sure yet.

"But- I have no idea how Justin's gonna react. I don't even know if I want to tell him just yet." I rubbed my forehead with the back of my hand.

Me and Justin were both in the same situation. Not knowing what we wanted to do with us. Not knowing what was going to happen. We were both clueless, except he was a little more.

"Remember it's his baby too. He made it with you. He has the right to know at some point before you make a decision."

Abbie was right.

I couldn't take a baby from him without him even knowing about it. I just wanted to take a break from everything. My life was starting to be too overwhelming and now this.

"I just don't... want to tell him today. Maybe some other time. I need to think about it." I sighed, staring at the blankness in front of me.

"Okay, but remember, you're not alone." Abbie stood up and kissed the top of my head quickly, "Do you still wanna stay here or go home?"

"Home." I replied, immediately.

I wanted to take a long, warm shower and just forget about everything for a moment. This was all so overwhelming that I got even more exhausted than before.

Funny how just two hours ago I was getting lunch with Spencer and now I was in the hospital, trying to decide if I wanted to keep the baby or not.

"Let's go, sissy." Abbie motioned me with her hand to follow her.

I stood up too and with careful steps I walked out of the room with my big sister. I looked to my left to see Justin there, pushing the strollers back and forth, probably to calm down Bri who was still sleeping.