Organic Compositions (Disscontnued)

Phase 2

School was literal hell on Earth... It was the first day and I got to school early like normal with Flynn, or for us. I began to see if I had gotten any emails, all it was Mouth-Noval messages and advertisements, which I immediately deleted. It was always nice and calm when I got there with just a few people doing some late work or doing some studying, but being the first day most were just chatting.

"Back to jail Quinten," Flynn said.

"Eh, I mean we get so see some people more often,"

"You got a point there buddy," He said. There was a little pause before he spoke again. "So, How was it?"

"How was what?" I replied.

"You know what," he smirked.

"Dude I really don't know what your talking...." Then I remembered the dancing. "... Oh, um, yeah."

"So? How was it?" He persisted.

"It was really nice, and really fun,"

"Well I mean you did have some slick moves," He commented. "Well I'm gonna try to open the puzzle known as a locker, see you latter."

"See yeah." I said as he left.

I honestly hadn't thought about the dance to much and I really didn't want to think about it. I just wanted to reminisce in it, remember the feeling. As more and more people came into the school the commons began to get loud and crowded. The large commons where nicely proportioned with one whole wall made of glass show a nice view of the near by park, the other walls had a abstract paintings and a trophy case with a bunch of sports junk in it. Eventually I noticed people pointing and snickering in my direction. I was looking for the source of their amusement but the school's five minute warning bell went off so I needed to get to class. As I was leaving I could have swore I heard someone say,

"Better get moving twinkle toes." but as usual I thought it was my crappy hearing or just a stupid insult someone was using with me or with someone else. So I paid no mind.

My first class was Geometry Honors and it was the usual "get to know you" crap that pretty much everyone who I knew hateted. So that was pretty much all my classes until lunch, then it all happened. It sealed my fate as the lowest looser their ever was.

So I came out of my Spanish class as usual, annoyed, but otherwise okay. My class was one of the farthest from the lunch line so I was one of the last ones in. So I walked on over to the lunch line which was across the commons where we ate. I walked calmly and without worry, listening to Dream of Phoenix on my phone. I walked by all the people eating lunch and all of the sudden the song I danced to last night started to play and everyone started looking at me and laughing. As I slowly began to realize what they were doing I was mortified. I quickly shuffled away as I started to tear up.

That moment was the first time I had fun with the prettiest, nicest, and most understanding girl I ever met, was now a viral video that all of my students were laughing at. I broke down behind the stairs. I heard footsteps coming towards me and hugged my self tighter and cried harder, as if the person would just stop if I cried hard enough. The footsteps stopped short of where I was. The she spoke in a sorry voice.

"I-I am....s-sorry," and then the person left in a hurry. I knew who it was and that just made me cry harder.

I whent to my next class humiliated. I was the first one in and I sat in the most unoticeable place. Flynn came shortly after. He didn't even have to look to know where I would be. He walked up to me with a sollum expression on his face. He took a set right next to me and leaned over so that he could whisper into my ear.

"Dude, I don't know what to say, other than don't listen to them," he said. "They don't know about the other things that you are god tier at, like trap and skeet," I groaned. He was right I knew that much but, at the same time I didn't believe him.

"Dude," I said. "You know why that was so special to me,"

"Yea I know," he said

"Well then you should know how much it hurts for that to become a public symbol of stupidity," I exclaimed.

"Man just wait it out, those guys would forget who their own mothers where if they didn't go home to them every day,". Good old Flynn. He always knew just what to say.

Flynn and me were two of a kind. Flynn and I both tended to not speak and sit farthest from the group. At one point they had some sort of dodgeball thing, I was not to fond of the game and neither was Flynn. So we both just watched. Some time later we started talking about games like Summoning of Burden, Society of Mythos, and Combat-Structure. The more we talked the more we began to develop a bond. Slowly over the days we became good friends. He had my back and I had his.

"Yea, you're right thanks for the pep talk,"

"Dude you never have to thank me, You know I got you," I went threw the class with only three people dancing. I was so pissed at them but I didn't have any courage so I just sat there and looked down at my feet. Walking thru the hallway was another kind of torture. People walked by laughing and calling me twinkle toes. I walked fast down the hall with my head hanging low. I got to biology very early because of it but to my surprise someone was there waiting for me. Lindesy came over and have me a hug.
"How are you holding up?" She asked as she stepped back.

"I'm not really," I said honestly.

"Man, screw those guys, Your awsome, so what if you can't dance to there standards, that just makes you human."

"I guess you're right," I said sadly.

"Hey if you're still feeling down find Omarr, he always knows how to help," Omarr was a kind and nice guy who always knew what to say. He was just that guy who everyone respected and trusted.

"I will."

"Quinten your awesome, don't you forget it." She gave me another hug then we sat down before anyone saw us.

The rest of the day I was ok. Well I was ok till I saw Waverly running out the door she was clearly being attacked as I was. I broke down. I walked over to my car with a puddle for a heart. I drove straight home with tears bleeding out of my eyes, I spread though the all of the red lights and got to my father's house. I ran up the stairs and went straight to my room, locked the doors and cried.

 I fell for her the moment I saw her and not in the selfish lust way but the kind that is true and honest. Now that I have had a moment of true bliss with her I truly felt in love with her and now I have made her a target. I thought at that moment that me being with her was a figment of my make believe world where stuff goes my way. When in reality it never does so I asked myself 'why believe in anything anymore'. I had lost the two things that kept me going, her and my dignity. So as normal. I locked up my emotions. Hardened my heart we've all my emotions were truly showing. I was angry. I wanted them all dead. For making my friends worry, hurting me, and most importantly, hurting Waverly. I wanted to kill them, all of them.

"STOP IT!" I cried out clutching my head. "You can not be this way!" I yelled at myself. "You have to keep it together, don't let 'it' win".

"It" is not not someone or something. "It" is what I truly am. On the outside people see a guy who just goofs around and is not serious about anything. That is not me. Far from it. If people could pear into my real self they would see a beast with two heads fighting itself. That was "It". I took deep breaths and tried to calm down. It took me awhile, before "It" calmed down and I could think straight. It usually did. I never talked to people about "It". I was too scared that if I told someone they would be afraid and leave me. Not even Flynn knew about "It".

So I kept "It" bottled up. Hid "It" behind my jokes. "It" was always fighting it's self. It's the part of me that wants to lash out and go crazy fighting the part of me that just want to have peace, but when they came together. I became a rabid animal. So I couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't risk it. So I fought this losing battle alone.

And lost in the end.