Permanent Vacation

10

Luke's POV
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After Max thought I was cheating on her she stayed in the bedroom all day. I glance at the time and see that it is 11:00. I decide that I should go to bed.

"I'm going to bed guys." I announce, getting off the couch.

The others mumble goodnights and I walk back to the room Max and I shared last night. I can't help but chuckle a bit thinking about what happened. How did it end up going so wrong today? I sigh and knock on the door.

"Come in..." Max's voice is soft through the door.

I open it to see Max laying in bed with her laptop. She shuts it and looks at me. Her eyes are a bit red and puffy.

"M... baby, have you been crying?" I ask.
"Um. Yeah, I have actually." She replies looking down.
"Why baby?" I ask.
"I need to tell you something." She says.

I walk over and sit on the bed. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She glances down at her bandaged arm.

"M. What's going on? Is your arm okay?" I say only getting more confused.
"No. It's not okay..." She whispers.

She reaches down and unwraps the bandage. I realize what happened when I see what was hidden. Thirteen cuts across her wrist cause my heart to shatter. I don't say a word until a small whimper escapes her lips.

"Is this my fault?" I ask her.
"No... Yes... Not entirely..." She mumbles.
"What do you mean baby?" I ask.
"The fans... They made fun of me... My body... They called me fat and ugly." She continues.
"M... Baby, you are not fat or ugly. Come here." I say.

Max crawls over to me and I hug her tight. She wiggles out of my grip and puts her head in my lap. I can see the cuts on her arm when she lays down. I rub her back and let a few stray tears slide down my face. I did this, I drove her to cutting again.
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A couple hours later I hear the door open. I open my eyes to see Ash and Bella looking in.

"Oh, Bella. Sorry, I'll let you have your bed." I mumble.
"No no. I can stay with Ash again. We were just checking up on her." Bella says.
"She's been asleep since 11:15." I inform them.
"Okay. Well I'll let you get back to sleep. Night." Arabella says.
"Night." I reply.

Not long after she leaves I fall asleep with Max still in my arms.
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"Max... baby, wake up. We have to go to the arena." I whisper.
"Mm... no. I wanna cuddle." She mumbles into my chest.
"Baby. We can cuddle in the van." I say.
"Can I wear my pajamas?" She asks looking at me with big eyes.
"Sure. Just grab a change of clothes for later."
"Okay."
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MAX'S POV

I get up from Luke's arms and head to the restroom. I get out my phone to see more twitter notifications. I know I shouldn't look at them but I do anyways. All of it is hate. I shut off my phone and walk out. My large sigh and dramatic flop onto the bed attracts Luke's attention.

"Babe? What's wrong?" He asks.
"Hate." I mumble into the pillow.
"You need to stop looking at that. You are not in a good state of mind. I don't want you getting depressed."
I'm already depressed...
"I'll be fine." I say, still face down in the pillow.
"Okay. Well we need to go. Come on." He says.

I roll over and make grabby hands towards him. He sighs and picks me up before grabbing the little bag I packed. We walk out into the main room only to receive odd looks from the others.

"She's tired." Luke says.
"Does she have a change of clothes?" Calum asks.

I nod into Luke's neck making Calum laugh. We all go out to the van and Luke and I climb in the very back seat. As soon as he is sat down a curl up into a little ball on his lap. I listen to everyone talking and laughing before I decide that a little more sleep wouldn't hurt.
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LUKES POV

I feel Max's breathing slow and look down to see her asleep. After about 20 minutes she begins to stir. Her hand moves to her stomach and she groans.

"M. What's wrong." I ask.
"Felsvk." She mumbles into my leg.
"What baby?" I ask again.
"Feel sick. The car is moving too much."
"Do you need us to pull over?"
"I... maybe? I don't know!" She sobs sitting up to cry into my chest.
"Guys. What's wrong?" Ashton asks from the front.
"Max is getting car sick." I reply.
"Can we pull over?" She asks quietly as we go around a curve.
"Ashton. Can we pull over?" I ask.
"Yeah one sec." He replies.

Once the car is pulled over I help Max get out. She stands on the side of the road for a moment.

"Max. Are you o-" I try to ask but am cut off by a soft gag coming from her.
"No..." she replies before gagging again.

She falls to her knees before gagging once more and throwing up. I rub her back and comfort her until she's done. I feel a small hand on my back and look back to see Arabella with a water in hand. I take it and give it to Max. She gives me a sad smile before taking the water.

"Max? You okay to get back in the van?" Arabella asks her.
"Yeah. I'll be fine. It's not too far right?" She says quietly.
"Maybe 15 minutes." Ashton yells from the car.
"I'm good, but can I sit up front?" Max says brushing off her knees when she stands up.
"Sure. You can trade with me, Max." Calum tells her and climbs in the back.

We finally get to the studio about fifteen minutes later and Max immediately jumps out of the van and runs inside.

"I'll go check on her." I announce.

I walk into the venue and spot a bathroom. I head towards it right as Max walks out. She gives me a small smile before speaking up.

"I had to go to the bathroom. I'm fine."
"You feel okay?" I ask her.
"I'm okay. I just drank a lot of water yesterday and today." She replies.
"Oh. Okay." I say.

The others walk in and we head to do sound check while Arabella and Max chill out in the dressing room.
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MAXS POV

Arabella and I are sitting in the back while the boys do soundcheck so Bella is on her phone and I am just playing with her hair.

"Max. You are acting super weird. What's wrong?" Arabella asks me.
"Nothing. 'M fine." I reply.
"Max. I am a girl. I know that 'nothing, I'm fine' means that something is up." She says putting away her phone and turning to face me.
"Just. It's nothing."
"M. Tell me now. You are like a daughter or sister to me now tell me what's wrong."
"I'm depressed okay!"
"Max... why?"
"The fans. They just keep sending hate. They are pointing out my flaws and making me even more self conscious than I already am!"
"M... I promise I'm here for  you. Luke is too. He isn't going to leave you like your last asshole of a boyfriend."
"That's what I'm afraid of."
"I swear he isn't like that, love."

I sigh and put my head in my hands. Glancing at the time, I see that the concert isn't going to start for several more hours so I lay down on the couch with my head on Arabella's lap.

I wake up about 2 hours later when someone shakes me. I mumble a quiet go away before someone picks me up. I can tell by the smell that it's Luke.

"Hi Lukey..." I whisper.
"Hey love. How'd you know it was me?" He asks.
"You smell like you..." I whisper into his neck.
"You're cute. Now. Do you wanna be in the audience or watch from backstage?"
"Backstage." I mumble.

Luke sets me down and I finally open my eyes. I see that all of the boys are changed and I sigh. I get up and grab my little bag. I head into the bathroom so I can change. I slid my pajamas off and put on my long sleeve blue shirt and a pair of capris. I sigh taking one long look in the mirror and head back to the boys and Arabella.
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Sorry for the long wait. It's been a stressful two weeks, but finals are over and I'll get back to updating again. Love y'all!

Word count: 1477