There's Only One Direction: London

So Complicated

The next morning i lay awake until i heard Niall leave for rehearsals. After the door shut, i still laid there pondering, about anything and everything. Finally, i got up, slipped on my pig slippers, and marched down the stairs into the kitchen.  I figured there was enough food in the fridge, considering it WAS Niall's house, so i opened it and grabbed an apple from the bottom drawer. I bit into it as i walked into the living room, but stopped and swayed back because i saw a note on the counter. 

"Ill be back around 4, help yourself to any food in the refrigerator or pantry. We should talk. :)"

A tear rolled down my cheek as i read it. I was so frustrated with myself, i pretty much ruined my chance with Niall, he will never want me after what happened. I slid to the couch and plopped down. I bit into my apple again as i thought about what Niall wanted to talk about. I knew what he wanted to talk about, but how were we going to talk about it? I should simply tell him I'm an emotionally impaired person and deserved to die alone, but I also knew we had to talk. I couldn't escape from that. I bit into my apple again when there was a knocking at the door. I hoped it wasn't a crazed fan, so i slightly opened the door and peeked at who it was. There stood Danielle, Liam and Louis. Still stunned because i wasn't used to being so close with any One Direction boys as an everyday event, i looked down at my Selena Gomez concert shirt,  duck pajama pants and my chunky, pink pig slippers. I shrugged and let them in. 

"Why aren't you at rehearsals? Niall is there." i asked biting into my apple again as the three of them made themselves comfy on the couch and big black leather chair in the corner. I closed the door.

"Well Niall, Harry and Zayn had to go today for voice warmups, they have the most solos on tour. More solos means more practice." Liam responded. I shook my head and raised my eyebrows as an indication that i understood. I sat on the chair at the counter as there were no available seating in the living room.

"And where is Katie?" I added with a mouth full of apple.

"Oh Harry took her to rehearsals with him. HOW CUTE!?" Danielle explained. I smiled feeling happy for her, her dream romance happened so easily, so quickly. At that moment there was no doubt in my mind that there was something wrong with me.

Louis got the conversation started, as usual, with the idea of going sight seeing today. Everyone chimed in with their ideas and agreements, i just sat there watching, thinking about nothing but Niall and how what I did last night may be affecting his rehearsals today. 

"So Sara…What do you wanna do today?" My deep thought was interrupted by Liam's smooth voice. I focus my vision on everyone as they stared at me.

"Uh… well Niall expects me here when he gets back, we kinda have something planned."

"OOOOHHHHH" they all said looking around at each other and smiling.

"No, its not like that guys." i said chuckling as i bit into my apple again. "You guys go do whatever, ill stay here, no biggie." I added. Danielle broke away from Louis' embrace. Rushing towards me she protested,

"NO! We can't leave Sara! She's the reason were here!" she turned to me, "Please Sara? It won't be the same without you." 

"Sorry Dani, but I gotta be here for Niall, its kinda important." I saw that she gave up. She turned and dropped back into Louis' arms. It was so adorable how he held her. She was a little girl, so his arm wrapped almost all the way around her. It stretched from around the back of her neck, to around the front of her abdomen. They were so freaking cute together, and he seemed to really enjoy her company too. They all continued talking about the week. 

"Im gonna go take a shower, if you leave please lock the door behind you." i said with a drone in my voice. I tossed the apple in the garbage, making it in, and started up the stairs.

In my room i was gathering clothes for today. I didn't plan on going out, so I reached for my grey sweats and a plain black tee.  I heard the front door slam shut, so i turned to get the water running when I saw Liam standing in the doorway, kinda like how Niall did yesterday.

"Whats going on between you and Niall?" he asked. i guess he knows when something is wrong. I lay my clothes in a pile on my bed and sat down next to them. Liam then made his way over and sat down next to me. I had my back hunched and head down, and I could see from the corner of my eye that he was looking at me, waiting for me to speak.

"Something happened last night…" I said with a shaky kind of tone. I turned my head up to his irresistible face. He sat there looking into my eyes, like he was trying to read my mind before i could say anything.  

"He said i was beautiful then…." a tear swiped down my right cheek. When i caught my breath i continued, "I walked away. I was just so overwhelmed, i couldn't." I began sniffling and my eyes became flooded with tears. Liam then leaned in with his arms open wide, i followed with thrusting my head against his shoulder and let it all out. All of my frustration, stress, lingering thoughts leaving me now. He encased my body in his big, warm embrace. He rubbed my back to calm me down, it was highly affective.

"Well he got one thing right…" he said pulling me away from his body. I wiped my eyes and sniffed. I stared into his big, sparkling eyes.

"You are beautiful." he said flirtily. I smiled and sniffed again. My eyes began to dry now, it got intense. He started to lean forward to me, and without a doubt flowing in my mind, i leaned too, and then…our lips touched. I've never felt so pure, so empty of any fear or confusion. But…i didn't feel anything special, like love-related. I opened my eyes and pulled away. We both looked at each other,

"I…Im sorry. I thought it would make you feel better. I hate to see you cry. If your gonna be with Niall your like… a sister and-" I interrupted him.

"Yea, that was only for… to patch up my boobo right?  Yeah it wasn't meant for anything special was it?"

"No..no"  We both slid away from each other to face the wall. It was suddenly extremely awkward in the room. 

"We don't have to forget that this happened, but we have to remember that we only did it because we are close friends. It doesn't have to be awkward between us…right?" he whispered.

I turned to him and gave him a reassuring smile and nod. Then we hugged and laughed it out. Then, Niall came home.