Trapped by Love

3: "I could be on MTV's Pregnant and my life is now ruined."

I sat on my bed in tears as I looked at my phone in horror. My hands were shaking and sweaty as I tried to think of anything else I could do other than call me mother and tell her what happened. I would rather do anything other than what I was about to do. What would she say? Would she hate me? Would this kill her? Was I going to be a failure in her eyes? But what else was there for me to do?

I had gone through multiple pregnancy tests. Of all different kinds and brands, but they all agreed that I was pregnant. I had gotten pregnant off a one night stand that I wouldn't have done without alcohol. I had never been drunk before that night and I wouldn't have had sex with someone I wasn't in a serious relationship with. 

But I did, and there was no changing that. At least it wasn't the quarterback, that would have been too cliché, but I would have never been with Scotty without the assistance of alcohol. How was I going to tell him?

How was I going to explain this to my family? Was I going to have to drop out of college? 

Or could I end this by going to a doctor?

I threw my head into my hands as tears started to slip out of my eyes. I wasn't ready for a child, hell I wasn't ready for a boyfriend and now I had no choice. 

It was the night that would forever change my life and there was nothing I could do about it. I had to suck it up and accept that it happened. My family would help me, they would know exactly what to do. All I had to do was call them and my mom would make this better. 

My hands shook violently as I scrolled through my phone to locate to mother's phone number. I took a deep to try to relax and to control my tears as I placed the phone to my ear. I could feel my heart trying to break out of my chest as the phone rang repeatedly; every second was getting me closer to telling my mom heart shattering news. My breathing picked up with every ring until I was hyperventilating and crying silently; that deep breath didn’t work.

"Hello sweetheart! How are you? How is your second semester going? You’re so close to being a senior and I know that finals are going to come up soon, but I know you will do well. Junior year flew by just like I said it was and you and Bailey have become great friends." My mom stated as she covered all the bases for our usual phone calls, but she did not know why I had actually called.

"Mom, I'm pregnant." I blurted out as I erupted into tears. 

Now there was no going back now and there was no way to take it back. I had told her the truth and now there was no way to change that. I cried as I waited for her to say something, anything, but she just let me cry. I felt like I had to explain myself because I could hear the disappointment in her breathing and it broke my heart.

"I didn't mean to. It was an accident. I didn't think and then I didn't have my period for months. Bailey had me take pregnacy tests and they all said I was pregnant! I don't know what to do mom!" I cried out as I became hysteric. 

"I know sweetheart. How far along are you?" I heard my mom cry as she spoke. It broke my heart to know that I was hurting her and I couldn't stop it, but I had no one else to go to go.

"I think about five months." I choked up as more tears slid down my cheeks."Mom what am I going to do about school? I only have a year left! What about my life and everything I was supposed to do before having children?"

"Well honey, as much as it hurts to say, you don't have that chance anymore. Unless you want an abortion." My mother stated with a sullen tone. "It is fully your choice and youcan go back to having the life you wanted. Otherwise its at least another three months with child and then a year with it while it grows up."

"But what about adoption? I don't think I want to kill it."

"That's also up to you sweetheart. We can't make those choices for you and unfortunately while we can be here for you, this is now your battle."

"Does that mean you won't help?" I cried out as a new wave of panic erupted through me. I needed her, I needed her help and her understanding, she had to help me move forward with this. I needed her advice and expertise to know what to do or if I should even bother keeping it.

"Of course I will help you! I meant that the choice is now yours just as it was yours to have sex in the first place. Have you told the father yet? Please tell me you know the father." My mother's voice pleaded with me over the telephone.

"I know the father. It was my first time, and my only time, I definately know the father." I said as tears slid down my cheeks at the hought of having to tell Scotty. We had hung out a few times since the hook up, but how was I going to just drop this in his lap?

"You have to tell him. He should come up with you. You're coming home this weekend to check it out and then we will have to decide what to do about college. Hopefully we can think of something and it won't put you too far behind schedule in school." My mom state, I could hear her trying to force a smile to ease my mind, but I knew she was just as afraid as I was.

"I don't think that I can..."

"You have to be strong. You have to tell him and you have to do it soon or the stress will hurt the baby. You not only have to worry about yourself now, but the baby. You can't drink alcohol, stress out, do drugs, take medication and a lot of other stuff. When in doubt don't do it and ask a doctor. You're coming home and you can have a list of everything you can't do or take, but until then be careful." My mother warned as it sounded like she was about to hang up the phone.

"Please don't go." I cried as my mother sighed. She had been about to hang up the phone and now I was begging for her to be there for me. 

"I have to because you have to call this boy. You can call me right back afterward, but you need to tell him. I will see you soon honey. I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered as she hung up the phone. 

The phone clicked quietly as she hung up the phone and once again I was left staring at a screen afraid for what I was going to do next. Without giving myself time to scare myself and talk myself out of it I dialed Scott's number. There were three rings before I heard his happy go lucky voice, "Hey what's up girl? How have you been?"

"Scott..." I cried, unable to get the words to come out.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant, and you're the father." I cried as he ended the call when the words my mouth. 

Now what? was all I could think as my door was slowly pushed open to reveal a worried glance from Bailey. She and my family were all I had now. She was the only one to know how I felt about Scotty. I was hoping for something more, more than a friendship. Now, I had a baby on the way and the father was on the run. 

I had such timing for everything that I could be on MTV's Pregnant and my life is now ruined.