In Pursuit of Perfection | Nalu | Collab with ofthefeels

| Chapter 17 |

Brave Honest Beautiful, by Fifth Harmony

| Previously on Chapter 16 |

She froze. It's not good enough. It'll never be good enough. I'm not good enough. The words lit a spark of fire and it erupted into flames, burning her from the inside to the outside. Blood roared in her ears. PATHETIC—STUPID——HOPELESS—IDIOT—NO—NEVER—GOOD—ENOUGH—

"I did not raise my daughter to be like this."

And something inside of her snapped as the hungry flames and white-hot fury engulfed her.

| Chapter 17 |

She walked out of the room. Her lungs weren't working and every choked breath she took made her fingernails dig deeper into her palms. Her fingertips were numb and her legs felt like steel, but she kept walking forward. There was no other way she could go. Tears blurred her vision, yet the way to her destination was clear. Right left right right.

The backstage of the auditorium. There were plenty of places to hide there. She sank behind the red, velvet curtains and the feelings she kept locked up burst through and drowned her. She buried her face in her hands, her fingers wet with tears as pitiful hiccuping noises echoed the room. I'm not good enough for father. I'm not good enough for mother. I'm not good enough and I never was.

Natsu would probably go look for her, but she couldn't be discovered. She couldn't face him or Igneel, not even Erza and Levy. She had to be as quiet as she could, but the tears wouldn't stop running down her cheeks and the hiccups wouldn't cease. All the possibilities that were facing her from her father to her career—everything—was on the line. She couldn't be the best daughter when her father was this close to dying. She couldn't be the best daughter so her mother left. And now, she couldn't be the best dancer and she'd let Igneel, Mr. Gowan, Natsu, and everyone else down.

Everything was so wrong. Everything was falling apart. Everything weighed her down; all the pressure, stress, and expectations she carried everyday was like dancing with a hundred pound boulder. And she was tired and sick of it. She wanted relief. She wanted comfort. She wanted reassurance that she was okay with who she was and what she did.

"Lucy! Finally, I—hey." Natsu's voice softened. She quickly wiped the tears away. "Hey." He bent down and touched her shoulder.

"What?" she asked. He flinched at the coldness of her voice.

"Are you okay?" That simple question sprouted a sense of warmth through her. It was like music to her ears. Someone cared. Natsu cared.

She had been at the top for so long, no one ever asked that. It wasn't that people didn't care, but they expected her to be okay. And sometimes, that wasn't always what happened. After years of being under her father's wing, people thought that she was her father; strict, demanding, strong—but she wasn't. That was her father. She was Lucy Heartfilia. Breathtaking, proud, talented—yet unstable and weak.

"I'm fine."

"No, you aren't. I've never seen you storm out during rehearsals like that, except for our huge fight that one time."

"Well then maybe you don't know me!" she fired back, turning to face him. She stared at him, anger pulsing through her chest. "You don't know me, Natsu. You don't."