A Year Without You

22 ~ Him

A/N: Three more to go. This count down thing is getting me more emotional. But seeing that this story is a draft, I will be going back to edit it on Nanowrimo's editing promise months. Thanks you for the support everyone! Much appreciated ~ Mel.

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Him

Day 292 – Over too soon

I waited until the weekend to talk to Marisa. After that eventful afternoon with Emilia, I had been swirling with happiness and burden with what I was going to say to her. Nearly three months in the relationship with her, we had nothing but fun times together. Though occasionally we had disagreements, it wasn't enough to spark any conflict that would lead us not to talk for an inconsiderable amount of time. We were both civil when it come towards discussing our feelings.

But what I'm going to say to her wasn't close to being rational. She knew about my relationship with Emilia, but it was vague. She did know she'd rejected me when I wanted to get back together. And being with her – though fear making her a rebound – it didn't dent the relationship we'd slowly built. We truly loved each other's company. Yet Marisa wasn't Emilia. They both have their own personal charms that I'm attracted, but Emilia was different. No matter how much I tried and pushed myself to fall deeply more towards Marisa, my feeling for Emilia wasn't something that I could completely forget. Even after she'd supposedly rejected me.

After her confession, I wanted to drag her out of there and made loved to her, feeling overjoyed. But then the rational side of me probed my growing happiness back to reality. I already had moved on with Marisa. Though the moment I heard Emilia's words, I knew what I have with her couldn't compare to my feeling towards Emilia. If I was going to get her back, I need to do it right. And I wasn't sure her mind might change tomorrow again, when she thought of the consequences of this choice.

There was a reason why we decided to break-up in the first place. Maybe she'd come to realize it again and leave. But that doesn't change my resolve upon having her saying she still loved me. That one shred of hope was enough to pull me back to her.

While I sat there inside a café close to her work place, I was fidgeting anxiously. I chanted to myself some words of encouragement, but there was nothing courageous at what I was going to do. I was breaking up a woman who only has adoration and trust on me. It wasn't noble at all.

"Collin, did you wait long?" I almost jolted hearing her arrival. Upon seeing my fidgety response, she inquired worried, "are you okay?"

"Maria... Ah, yeah, I'm okay. Please seat," I gestured towards the empty chair across from me.

She followed without another word and sat down. Before she could ask why I suddenly asked her to meet, I stood up and asked for her drink order. Per usual, she wanted a hot caffeine drink. Leaving her to buy the drink gave me at least a good ten minutes set back. But when I returned with her drink hand, there wasn't much I could discuss to skirt around the inevitable. Even talk of the project wasn't enough. And talking about it made my stomach curl even more. What would happen to our work relationship if we broke up? Would she find another designer to handle the remaining days until the opening? Would she stop talking to me altogether? I would understand it, but that's not what I wanted things to end between us.

"Collin, what did you want to talk about? You're silence is starting to make me uncomfortable. Is there something wrong? Is there a problem with the loan, setting back the opening date? What is it? You can tell me?"

"Marisa, I...I'm so sorry..." I stuttered and trailed off, feeling the emotions bubbling up in my throat.

"What's wrong, Collin? What did you do?"