warning; mentions of depression, self harm and suicide
Jinyoung was killing himself on the inside, he stayed locked in on his room and didn't drink much and barely ate any food. He just layed in bed and went to the toilet if he really needed to. He was drowning in selfhate.
Mark wasn't home yet, he was counting every hour since Mark left. 49 hours ago. It was now 2 am and Jinyoung was thinking about all the things he did wrong and all the things that made him a terrible person.
'Ofcourse he doesn't love me, he loves Jackson, me and my stupid fucking crush i bet Jackson is better than me anyways' His mind kept on blaming him, telling him that everything was his fault all this time. For trying to destroy his bestfriend's relationship for his own selfish reasons. Though he knew that he did it because Mark deserved better, he also knew that he wanted to be that 'better' person in his life.
Suddenly he heard the door opening and someone stepped into the apartment. Jinyoung unlocked his own door carefully in hope to see Mark standing there but he didn't.
It was Jackson.
"What are you doing here?" Jinyoung asked, his voice low because he hadn't talked in two days.
"I'm getting Mark's stuff" Jackson responded coldly as he went into Mark's room and started grabbing his stuff.
"Why?" Jinyoung asked nervously.
"He's moving in with me" Jackson said and quickly left the apartment with no further explantion.
'He's leaving you stupid, you fucked up and now he's never coming back, look what you did you fucking idiot' Jinyoung thought to himself and suddenly he felt trouble breathing, he grabbed his shoes and jacket and ran.
He had been hiding something from everyone for a long time, and that was his depression. It had actually been working out really well for him though, his depression got better and better when he met Mark and became friends with him. And then when his brain decided on a goal to make Mark his, his life didn't feel as meaningless anymore.
But now when he knew that it was over, that he could never be with Mark, he ran.
He kept on running until he came to a forest, he kept going through the forest until he saw train tracks in the distance, he kept going until he saw the train tracks in front of him.
He saw a train coming closer and closer.
He kept on going until he was standing on the train tracks.
a/n;
i know this plot seem rly typical but bear with me please ><
also i tried to somehow explain how he was feeling without offending anyone who's maybe suffering from depression or knows someone who is suffering from depression, i'm sorry if i made someone angry /:
don't hate me please <3
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