Love And Marriage

Where somethings arent said .

Janae Pov.
Part of me just feels like I don't understand who he is anymore. But then it's like I love him so much I will do anything to make him understand that.  But once again the whole world is going to soon one day shut down and all we have is each other but we're at the point we can't even be strong for each other  . Right now i am at my store with tae . 

Tae: So how are things with you two?

Me:Well , we dont say anything unless it has something to do with the kids. 

Tae: Janae i know it hurts but i just want you to look at it like this , he tried to keep the secret away from you to protect you before he knew the baby was his . Yes he shouldve told you that he had sex with her but are you really going to be mad at him when he was damn near drunk couldnt stand up or even count to 5 ? And you said it yourself . 

Me: I know tae and thats part of the reason why i havent just said Divorce yet because of that reason . But i really felt like he shouldve told me before we said i do . Not only that but to have her come in my house that was just flat out disrespectful.

Tae: Do you still love him ? 

Me: Of course i do . 

Tae: Look so i have a friend that was in almost the situation you are in and her and her husband went on a 30 day trial to see if the love , trust,loyalty,and faith was still there . She went and got a divorce paper and told him at the end of the 30days she will sign it or ripe it up . But during those 30 days they were tried very hard . So instead of trying to fix it their way they went to go see someone . Now with you and hakeem i know within 30 days you will figure out if you will be Mrs.Lyon or not . But nae you cant walk away or give up during the 30 days . Do you think you and hakeem can do it?

Me:I mean yea he just going to be busy with his other baby mama so i dont know if he will have time to. 

Tae: Nae stop text him and have him meet you somewhere but as of right now you need to be getting some divorce papers so he will know this is for real. 

After talking to nae about it , it made me really think so i went down to my lawyer and got the papers . As of right now im waiting on hakeem to come home . 

Hakeem Pov.

Man living in the same house as nae is a living hell for me . I miss us and i know i fucked up big time . I dont think nae will ever forgive me but im not going to lie a nigga was happy when i got that text asking if i can hurry up and come home but at the same time i just dont know what could she want .So as i pulled into the driveway i see nae working on her garden and that baby bump is just too cute on her . 

Nae: Hey " She said standing up " 

Me: Hey come on inside ma its starting to get cold out here. 

So we go in and i see papers on the kitchen counter and thats where nae had walked to . So i sit down and she pick them up and sat them infront of me . I couldnt believe what i was seeing . Some divorce papers.

Me: Nae baby please.

Nae: Before you start begging me im not going to sign theses papers yet until after 30 days or i might not sign them its up to you. The reason i say 30 days is because you have 30 days to prove to me that you really love me and sorry and also were going to talk to a counselor because i really dont want to walk away but i will if you prove to me that you want to then thats that . Now since she is really pregnant with your child thats whats going to be pretty hard for me to deal with but i will sooner or later get over it . 

I couldnt believe what i was hearing . Nae was willing to give me a chance after all the pain i put her through and not only that but she is talking about some way she is going to get over it . And this is what you call a rider for real and i wont mess this up . 

Me: Thank you nae for giving me the opportunity to make this right and i really am sorry for getting her pregnant . 

Nae: Yea well our first day start tomorrow we have to go talk to our counselor and its at 12;30am

When she said that i knew i just fucked up once again .

Me: Nae thats the time her appointment is .

Nae:Really hake-

Me: But i will tell her i cant make it cuz im willing to make us work and become a family again . 

Nae: OK .well im about to go and lay down good night .

Me:goodnight nae.

Next Day at Counselor office.

Janae Pov. 

Well today is the first day of trying to make our marriage work and i can say this is going to be very hard for me but im doing this for me and my kids and my heart . So while were waiting for Dr.Jen to call us hakeem phone has been getting blown up . Right when i was about to say something she called us . 

Dr.Jen : So you two are here to work on your marriage and to gain back trust 

Both of us: Yes

Dr.Jen : Ok well lets start with something easy . Janae what is it that you want to walk away when your 30 days are up ? 

Me: I want to walk away feeling free of the lies  and secrets that he has told and hide and also be able to say i trust him . 

Dr.Jen : Ok now let me tell you will be able to walk away from that but its going to be hard  i say because as you know he has someone else pregnant and thats going to be sometimes take away the times you need him he not going to be here and also most people hide things from the people because they dont want to see the other person hurt knowing their the reason their hurt. So what about you hakeem?

Hakeem: Well i want to walk away still being her husband and having the trust back but most important walk away with her not being so hurt when the baby comes . 

Dr.Jen: Well the first two is going to somewhat easy but that last one isnt . The reason for that is because your her husband and all a wife ever dream is that you stay hers and have a family of your own but in her case thats been ruined . So when your child comes with her its going to be a great moment but when youe other child its going to be bittersweet and how do you suspect her to tell your oldest daughter that . So that one we cant work on its something she is going to get over but only on her time . 

Hakeem: Ok

Dr.Jen : So i just want to say this , both of yall are going to be hurting during this time and with you being pregnant were going to do  some sessions with both of yall then yall by your self because we dont want you to stress even more . Now i will like to say this Janae the only way you can heal from her being pregnant is by loving that child that she is carrying i say that because one day your going to look back at this and laugh and be grateful for another child it  might not be yours but you will be happy . Hakeem you have to remember you cant rush her to heal it takes time mainly since your the one she really love you . 

Me: But what if its hard for me to love his child ? 

Dr.Jen: Nae you will figure how to love the baby i know you will because you love him . 

Me: Ok 

Dr.Jen: Now you two have homework . Our next session is on friday so from today up till friday morning you have to get in two dates and while on those date i want you two to talk about how you see your family within the next two years nae you write down his ideas and hakeem you write down hers but the only thing about it you cant explain why you feel that way or how your partner should feel about it just say some things and write it down and gone on about your day. 

Hakeem:Wait Dr.Jen do you think its a good idea for us to be in the same house with each other and not talking .

Dr.Jen: I will say this for the next 30 days you both will be put in a condo at a hotel just different rooms . I say that because you will need a new start and being in the house where the hurt is its just going to cause more hurt . 

Hearing her say that makes alot of sense but i just want everything to come and go because this is too much . But im doing this for me to get answers and find a solution to it .