Negan & Reader Short Stories

I'm Gonna Show You Crazy

Background info
Based on the song 'I'm Gonna Show You Crazy' by Bebe Rexha. Lyrics in italics. Features implied drug use.
~
There's a war inside my head
Sometimes I wish that I was dead, I'm broken

You travelled deeper into the forest, hoping to leave all your emotional baggage out here among the trees. Your friends had just been revealed to be backstabbing manipulative arseholes, you had decided that to spare a bloody massacre you would leave the compound to clear your head.

Your family had sided with your now ex-friends. You were supposed to be their leader. This was all stupid and wrong. You punched the tree beside you in frustration. The anger building under your skin like a blister that grows with every nudge of irritation.

So I call this therapist
And she said, "Girl, you can't be fixed just take this."

You hadn't really been paying much attention to the direction you had been heading. But somehow you ended up at the same oak tree you would often come to seek refuge in. The large branches and thick coverage of leaves allowed you to seemingly disappear from the whole world.

You climbed up the side of the tree and settled yourself on the thickest branch you could find.

"Hello stranger", a gruff spoke and you looked down to see Negan with his barbed baseball bat in his hand and a wide grin on his face.

"Hey Negan", you smiled down at him. He had visited your compound a few months ago to stake his claim over you all. You didn't mean to develop feelings for this pysco but shit happens a hell of a lot in an apocalypse.

You would come to this tree sometimes on purpose and sometimes by accident. The tree seemed to have a magnetic pull that you couldn't help being attracted to. Or maybe it was just your brain dragging you back there in hope you could catch up with your psyco.

"So what fucking brings you here today doll?", he called up to you.

"It's a long story", you told him.

"Are you fucking coming down or am I gonna have to haul my arse up there?", he sighed as he gently placed Lucille down against the tree's trunk.

"I'm not moving", you smirked down and Negan grumbled something before he climbed up the tree and sat on the branch beside you.

"I'm getting too fucking old for this shit", he kissed your lips lightly, "go on then, what did they do this time?".

You told him all about what your friends had done and how your family had betrayed you to support them.

"You know Lucille's down there, just say the word and you can end all of this", he grinned maliciously.

I'm tired of trying to be normal
I'm always over-thinking

"No that's not the answer", you shook your head. Negan raised his eyebrows in an attempt to get you to re-think your reply.

Maybe you shouldn't put that idea completely out of the picture. They betrayed you once, whose to say they won't do it again. Perhaps with even more drastic consequences.

Maybe you needed to make a statement. To ensure they wouldn't go behind your back again.

Maybe Negan was right.

I'm driving myself crazy
So what if I'm fucking crazy?

"All of them?", you asked with uncertainty.

"Only the ones that betrayed you. There's no need to fucking go overboard", his eyes darkened at the thrill that you were now considering his plan. He brought a small, silver flask out of his jacket pocket and handed it to you. You took a sip.