This Thing Called FEGEBEG

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY..

iloveyou .. yes i really do. But i think i can't do this anymore, i can't bear the pain anymore .. i'm so sick and so tired .. 

Tired of being an option , tired of being the second best , tired of hiding behind the shadow of my own insecurities .. 

Tired so tired ,i wanna rest,really but it's hard ..

I don't know how will i unlove you , you became a huge part of me and leaving you is like losing myself .. but then i realized , i already lose my half in the process of loving you ..

It's a win win situation on either will i chose will surely still be painful. 

WHY? why did i let myself be in this kind of situation?why did i let myself fell for you?

i already knew where this relationship will lead me , us, but still i continued ..

Maybe i just really love you that much that i can risk everything in order for you to love me , though i knew i don't have any assurance  still .. i let myself fell for you ..

But now.. i'm giving up . I will gave up all the love i still have for you , not because i don't love you anymore but because i'm tired ..

Tired of fighting for us , because i thought you're just on my side fighting with me but then i saw it was just really , just me even right from the start , it was just me all along..

You never really fought for us . It hurts. You're just good in talking , just talking ..

You said you love me and so i believe you ..

i waited days ..

i waited weeks ..

i waited months ..

and i waited years..

I'm dumbfounded , i'm rotten with your words , waiting like forever . By staying with her? i know you already made a choice. There were never really an us all along just like what i'd thought ..

I gave you my all .. my all mahal .. my fucking all !!  even those things i never thought i can do, i did ! because you want it ! you want those !! that's how i love you ! i can do ANYTHING , EVERYTHING just to make you happy. How about you? what can you do for me? aside from giving me an unbearable pain where you're really good at .. you'd done nothing for me ..

And so now i give up .. i'm sorry for not fullfilling my promise ' FOREVER AND ALWAYS' ? you're not even cooperating so why bother right?. And yes i'm setting you free and so myself .. i deserve to be happy too .. i deserve to get love and be loved.

I know you're contented to her right from the start , you just mistaken the friendship you  needed for a fucking relationship you thought you'd need .. go be happy with your girl i won't bug you anymore i promise. But please do me a favor and help me get over you . Don't text nor chat me anymore that would be a great help .. We'll soon see each other again and i'll hope that i'll look at you without any feelings anymore , also happy with that someone who could treat me better , someday i'll be happy maybe not with you but with someone who'll treat me like i'm the best thing that ever happened to his life ..

Don't worry you'll never forget .. you're always in my mind,soul and specially in my heart ..

iloveyou mahal ko and goodbye .. forever and always </3