One Shots

Bucky Barnes X Reader

Warnings: Triggering thoughts

    Tonight was just a night in for everyone in the Stark Tower. Steve, Natasha, Bucky, Sam, Clint, Tony, Wanda, Pietro, Vision, Thor, and you were all sitting around the coffee table having a few drinks and laughing at stupid jokes and stories that everyone was making. Steve was in the middle of telling a story about him trying to take on a guy twice his size back in the 40's when you stood up. "Well as much fun this is i think i'm going to retire for the night" you say smiling a little with a yawn. The night before you pulled an all nighter because of a mission so you had no sleep, and this was one of the only times you will be able to.
    "Night Y/N" everyone says, you smile and head off to your room to get the much needed sleep. You change out of your outfit and into some pajama shorts and a tank top, then crawl into bed under the covers. You get comfortable and then slowly drift off to sleep.

-Hour Later-

    You had been asleep for a good hour and were in the middle of an amazing dream when you were awoken with the screams of Bucky. You sit up confused, not knowing what's going on you grab your gun and walk out of your room. No one else was awake so you made your way down the hall to his room where you heard him crying and struggling. You take a deep breath and open the door expecting there to be an intruder but all you see is Bucky tossing and turning in bed, crying asleep. You sigh shutting the door behind you and you walk over to bucky turning on the lamp beside his bed. Being careful you put a hand on his shoulder lightly, that's when his metal arm shot up and gripped your wrist tightly and he jumped awake tears in his eyes and hair messy. Once he saw it was you he let go quickly and sat up immediately apologizing. "I-I'm sorry i didn't know it was you, i thought you were...." he drifted off and started to cry again. You sigh and sit down next to him on the edge of his bed.
    "Buck just take deep breaths for me okay..?" you say trying to calm him down. He shakes his head and is rambling about his nightmare about hydra. You put your hand on his leg and look at him. He looks up at you pure panic in his eyes, it completely broke your heart to see him like this. You brought him into a hug, he tenses under your touch but soon relaxes and hugs you back crying into your shoulder.
    "I-I'm sorry.." he says crying, you shake your head and keep hugging him.
    "Don't be you didn't do anything wrong. It's okay it was only a nightmare." you say trying to calm him down the best you could. He just keeps hugging you obviously scared. This was one of the first time you actually spent time outside of a mission with bucky. Most of the time he was very quiet, keeping to himself, but this brought out a new side of him. "Just take deep breaths okay?" you say and he obeys, taking in deep shaky breaths trying to calm down. "Do you wanna tell me what it was about...?" you ask thinking maybe that will help him calm down.
    He looks at you and sits up a little, still has tears falling. "Would you listen..?" he asks, never having anyone wanting to talk about his nightmares with him other than steve. You nod sitting next to him. He takes a deep breath and then starts talking. "I was in Siberia... that's where they were keeping me...." he says looking down messing with a string on his blanket. " I had just got back from a mission...I was covered in blood...oh god there was so much blood..." He is shaking to you slowly take his hand in yours. He gives your hand a small squeeze holding it, for some reason it just felt right, that you were supposed to be there. "They had me kill a man and his family... there was him, his wife, and his two little girls... he fought, they all did....I couldn't stop myself though... in the back of my mind I was yelling at myself to stop, I didn't want to do it, i didn't want to hurt anyone..." He says back to silently crying. You felt bad for him, he had been through so much, but you sat and listened, let him cry, you were just there for him. "After they had me kill the family they brought me back to the base... thats when i began having flashes of memories... but they didn't want that, so they drug me to the fucking machine and used it again and again until i was their perfect soldier again... That machine was torture, it hurt so much.. Worse than anything i have ever had happen, worse than loosing my arm..." He says looking at his metal arm. "Thats when they started to torture me...they would chain me up, starve me, whip me, drown me, suffocate me, just until i was almost dead, and then they would stop...they would let me heal for a few days and then start it all over again..." he says his voice cracking.
    You frown, still holding his hand. "Bucky I'm so sorry that you had to go through that..." you say, teared up after hearing what he had to go through.
    He just shook his head rubbing small circles on your hand with his thumb looking at your hand. "It is behind me now...I have to forget, and move on..." he says, with tears dried on his face.
    "Forgetting is hard... I know it is...but those memories are what makes us stronger right?" You say looking at the cuts that you had on your leg, they were not from you of course but from your ex boyfriend.
    He looks at your leg and frowns. "How did you get them...if you don't mind me asking.." he says not wanting you to be uncomfortable. You look at them and bite your lip.
    "My ex...he wasn't very nice... " you say thinking back on it. "He use to beat me and treat me like his own personal rag doll... He thought one day that he should leave a physical scar... to go along with all the mental ones he left..." You say tearing up, you usually didn't go around telling people about your past but you felt as if you could tell Bucky anything. " So one day he tied me up to the bed... and go out the butcher knife..." you say taking a shaky breath looking down. "He yelled at me like he always did...telling me that I was a slut, that i didn't deserve to live... he called me so many names.... Then he would cry and tell me he didn't mean it... like he did everytime, except this time more anger came after.... He took the knife and started digging into my thigh, carving into it like i was a fucking piece of meat of thanksgiving.." You started tearing up trying to keep it together. "After he was done hurting me with the knife he threw it across the room....then he left leaving me there....bloody, hurting, tied up, crying... that's when The police found me...since my coworker called in saying i hadn't showed up to work, they found him and arrested him, they took me to a hospital, patched me up and then let me go...." you say letting a tear fall. He is still holding your hand and he brings you into a hug. You hug him back, a little surprised that he hugged you but it felt nice. You usually did have a lot of physical contact due to trust issues but with Bucky it felt right, like it was meant to be like that.
    "I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.." he says till hugging you, him now calm down, both of you having a large load gone now that you told each other what was bothering each other even though you barely knew each other.
    "Thank you" you say feeling grateful for him being so helpful and comforting.
    "No thank you, for listening and helping me" he says having a small smile form. You smile a little and pull away from the hug." Even though we don't know each other very well I feel like I can tell you anything" he says opening up.
    "I feel the same way, it feels like i was meant to have you in my life." you say being honest with him. He smile and nod in agreement. "I better let you get back to sleep" you say standing up but he grabs your hand lightly.
    "Will you stay... please." he says looking into your eyes. You nod sitting back down getting under the covers.He brings you into his arms holding you close feeling really relaxed. You relax under he touch and let him hold you.
    "Goodnight Bucky" you say falling asleep.
    "Goodnight Y/N" Bucky says before you both fall asleep together.