Cupcake Kisses

Whipped Cream II

I was actually considering not going to Asher's, official, training day today because I didn't want to dampen his mood even further, but with more thought, I realised this was the perfect way to show him I'd support him no matter what and that I still cared for him like he still cared for me.

So there I sat, on the bleachers, with all my brownies, Alex grumbling about not being able to eat more as he already ate his share in the car. On the Brightside Jay and Scarlett were thoroughly impressed with my skills, Jay continuously begging for the recipe, which made me laugh out loud. Emily made her way across the field, surprisingly seeing her didn't cause the usual jealousy or insecurity. I felt at peace for some reason. I excused myself from the others to go talk to her. I half jogged, half walked to catch up with her.

"Hey, do you have a minute?" I ask her. She looked a bit taken aback and a little frightened. Ha, that would be a first. Someone. Actually frightened. Of me? Sudden guilt pooled in my stomach.

"Yeah, sure." She led me to a quiet, secluded area. She was about to say something but I put my hand up to stop her.

"Me first. Is that okay?" She stared at me for a couple second, trying to figure out what I wanted to accomplish before she nodded. I left out a breath of air I didn't even realise I was holding. I looked around the field, trying to figure out how to start when my eyes landed on Asher. He wasn't wearing his glasses again; it was only then I realised how tired he looked. His usual golden skin looked dull today and there wasn't that usual bounce in his step, like the last time he was here. I watch him stretch for a little while before realising I had zoned out on Emily. She had been watching me watch him the whole time and had this thoughtful look on her face.

"You like him, don't you?" I blushed and avoided her gaze. She took that as all the confirmation she needed.

"I do too, but you probably knew that already." Hearing her actually say the words were something different and my stomach did that flipping, nauseous thing again. I suddenly knew what I wanted to say.

"Yeah, that's what I came here to talk about. I'm sorry for all the hurtful things I said to you. I was just jealous and it was really, really wrong of me and I hope you can forgive me. At the end of the day, I just want Asher to be happy because no one deserves it more than him, and if you're the one that makes him happy..." My voice was quaking with emotions now and I had to stop for a while and take a depth breath before carrying on.

"Then I'm happy for you guys." Her dark brown eyes, filled with unknown emotion and she looked really....touched? Perhaps.

"You shouldn't be apologising because what you said was true. I should have been there for him but I was just too scared. I didn't know how to handle it. Seeing him on the field last week and celebrating with him, he's still the same person I know." She looked ashamed herself now, tears pooling in her eyes. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. We were both in different situations. It was easy for me to accept Asher when he was blind because I had no baseline for what he used to be like, whereas for Emily it must have been so scary to see someone you care about deteriorate, she probably hated seeing him like that and not being able to do anything to help ease the pain for someone you cared deeply about. Something just dawned on me and it felt like a slap in the face.

Emily felt Asher's grief as if it was her own and I realised she carried a lot of guilt that she needed to let go.

"Emily, you know Asher is a forgiving person right?" Ha, here I was preaching something my brother told me. She nods. "So just talk to him, tell him how you feel. It'll make you and him both feel better." Swiping at the stray tears on her face, she squeezes my hand back.

"You are not at all what I thought you'd be like. I can see why Ash likes you so much." I rolled my eyes, not believing, feeling like she was just saying that to be nice.