Jon x Reader! Come back to me.

The visit

Did he sleep? Was he always sleeping? Probably but gosh he just didn't know.

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You finally went to the hospital after Eduardo gave you some shit about it he was so torn up about it but you..you were smashed up like glass against the ground. The best thing that's ever happened to you is just gone. No he isn't gone he just isn't there anymore. Walking down the hallway you felt your chest clenched the flowers you brought held close to you the petal crushing and falling off from the force. Calling the elevator a small panic started to go through your body, Jons never gonna wake up. What if he doesn't? What if he wakes up and doesn't remember you? What if he-

Dies?

A little voice in the back of your head whispered and you felt your heart drop but you knew if it had to happen to let him go..you had to. You got into the elevator staring down at the ruined flowers in your hands. He'd forgive you and understand why they're not in the best condition.

What if he can't forgive you for letting him live like this? Or if you let him go?  No matter what you do or thought in the end it wasn't a good one? You covered your mouth as a whimper tried to escape your lips the thought of your partner gone and still there felt like to much and deep down a dark pit inside quietly wished he died in Eduardos arms that day so that these thoughts wouldn't tear you up it wouldn't make you feel helpless, useless.

No, no what the hell were you thinking? You'd be destroyed if that was the case, but this....this was also destroying you. Jon just meant the world to you those eyeless black oceans of his drew you in first. Sure they had nothing in them and yet they held the universe in them the way his brows would knit together and his tongue would stick out from the corner of his lips when he thought about something that he was trying to piece together on his own, that smile...that dopy fucking smile..You loved the looks he gave you when you walked into the room a big smile just for you as his cheeks would turn slightly pink, how he use to bring you flowers and take you star gazing were you two just talked about everything and anything for hours. 

You loved how he gives you kisses, soft timid but had a lot of meaning behind them. His hugs had to be the best he had a even bigger smile when he got to hold you against him. When he got to....when he. 

Slowly you sank down to sit the flowers petals damaged and fallen off, you just stared at destroyed flowers steady tears slipped down your cheeks and off your jaw. Never pressing the button to go up the elevator didn't budge and you just sat there crying...those hugs those kisses those smiles and laughs and that voice....you realize they won't ever be seen, felt or heard again. Why didn't you do more? Why didn't you save Jon? Or push him out of the way? You could of done so much to save or push the chances of this happening if you did something.

So what ifs and blame circled around in your thoughts, finally calming down you stood up and pushed the floor the little number lit up as the elevator jerked to life when the quiet ting sound alerted you that you've reached the floor that was needed you tossed the ruined flowers to the side and walked down the hallway toward Jons room. Knocking on the door you expected Jon to call and tell you to come in but no such thing happened. Swallowed the lump in your throat you walked in and closed the door behind you, there he was laying there quietly the machines beeped his breathing deep and weary his eyes closed and hair a bit of a mess, the wounds and bruises healed up...you just haven't seen him until now.

Walking slowly over with a shaking hand that stretched out to touch his head his cheeks and hair, the beating organ in your chest felt tight and crushed. Jon felt warm- felt alive he was even breathing on his own so that had to be good right!? So then why won't he wake up? Why won't he look at you? Stupid questions that you knew the answers too. A gentle hand just rest on his cheek your thumb brushing the soft skin, looking around you leaned in kissing his head. 

"Jon?" You whispered softly 

(Sorry it's so short)