stupid ugly worthless fat (poems for the depression in me)

Suicide Letter

(just a poem)

If I were to write a suicide letter,

What exactly would it say?

Would it explain how almost every day

I’d wished to have gone away?

Or what about all the people,

Who never seemed to stay….

Those people who were supposed to show,

On those lonesome days….

Would I talk about all that loneliness

That never seemed to stray?

Would I mention how all my days

Just seemed so cold and grey?

Would I mention the various reasons

For every single tear?

Would I mention how I’ve only wished

For someone to be here?

I could talk about the smiles

That I’ve faked along the ride.

I could tell you how much sadness

Every smile tried to hide.

Could I mention all the scars?

All the anger and all the pain?

All the innocence I used to have

And how it all was slain?

Do I have to say how hurt I’ve been

To try and make you see,

That there was so much more you didn’t know…

How hard it was for me.

Would you know how much I truly cared,

How much love I had for you?

How much it really killed me,

The day you said you were “through”?

If I were to write a suicide letter,

I’d keep it short and sweet.

Because there were way too many reasons

For heaven to lift me off my feet.