Fire and Ashes {Sequel to Sea Salt and Roses}

Chapter 5

~Finnick~
I knew she wouldn't have wanted me to be this way. She told me herself, before the games.

I could always find Hillary at the piers, watching the horizon set and the fishermen wrapping up the day's job. Her toes digging into the sand, sandals discarded some way of. Her hair blowing in the wind of the sea. I sat down next to her silently.
Without looking at me, she said gravely, "Reaping is tomorrow." I couldn't bear to see the worry etched into her face, causing wrinkles and shadows to fall on her youthful face. I replied, "Your name is only going to be in there once. Out of all the names in District 4. Only one slip." She looked at me and whispered, "I need you to promise me something." I interrupted her, "You're not going to be reaped. I know you're not." She sighed and said, "Don't be stupid Finnick. Even if I do survive the games, what about after?"
I shrugged and said, "I try not to think about it." She rolled her crystal eyes at me before she said firmly, "Just please, listen." I looked down and remained silent.
"Promise me, promise me you'll keep your head high Finnick. Even if I'm not there beside you. Live Finnick. Just live."
I wrapped my arms around her and said, "Promise." I then got up and dusted off my pants before extending my hand out to her, "Come on, we'll be late for supper." She smiled and took my hand as we walked hand in hand back towards the village.

She told me to live, but how can I? How can I go on without my world next to me, by my side. She was my home, my angel, my love, my everything and most importantly, my life. With Hillary gone, I've got nothing left. She told me to never give up and to be happy but truely? I don't even remember what happiness was.
:=:
Loop, tie, pull. Loop, tie, pull. The same routine. Again and again. Something for me to distract myself from the pain of losing, her. I saw her, moments before the arena blew up. Her beautiful big blue eyes pleading for me, for someone to save her, but of course, no one came. Her lasting scream ringing in my ears, probably forever.
My door suddenly flung open and Katniss rushed in. I looked at her and she said breathlessly, "You need to see this."
She ushered me into the medical bay and shoved me into a room. Inside was a lady, convulsing on the bed. Katniss gasped and went to grab my arm and started to pull me out of the sterile conditions, but I stopped her. Something told me I knew her. Very well. I couldn't just leave her.I walked to her slowly and froze when I saw her face.