Train

4. Please don't take my sunshine away

Playlist for this chapter: (it gets you in the mood)

(This chapter is Tara's POV btw)

She was the first girl I fell in love with.

We were just thirteen but it felt like it would last forever.

Now, eight years later, I look back with tears in my eyes both happy and sad.

It was a very troubled time, school got harder, my parents broke up and I discovered my sexuality.

She was new and so pretty. She would always match her hijab to her outfit, even though some people thought it was wrong for her to even wear it.

Her name was Azmina, which I would later learn meant beautiful, and the name really did suit her.

Her family was pretty traditional, her father was a man that always wanted respect. Her mother was a housewife and her brother was basically Azmina's bodyguard.

I always watched when she prayed, five times a day like Muslims do, and was amazed that she always knew where Mecca was. I would have probably messed that up all the time.

It was a warm summer night when we first kissed.

Her father had finally allowed her to stay over at my house overnight.

We were laying on a hill near my house, just stargazing.

She was explaining the different star constellation while I was torn between admiring her or the stars.

I always loved that she was so intelligent. Azmina taught me so much about the world, she basically changed my view completely.

That night she stopped explaining the stars and just looked at me. It was my moment, I could finally kiss her.

We loved each other so much and it wasn't a secret.

People in school knew and they actually supported us, two young girls in a queer interracial relationship.

It was the best time, to be exact two years, of my life with Azmina.

Until her brother found out.

She begged him and begged him, crying that he shouldn't tell their father. She knew what was going to happen.

Her father was outraged, he screamed at her about we both would go to hell and how bad of an influence I was.

Azmina was clinging to her mother, crying and asking her to please do something. But she kept her mouth shut.

And so it happened.

They moved away, and now I was alone again.

At now fifteen I didn't know what to do. They took my sunshine away.

I felt empty, like when she went away she took my heart with her.

Everyone felt so bad for me, told me how one day I would find Azmina again.

Till this day, I sadly haven't.

Sometimes I still dream about her, but now I see a young woman with a hijab and not the girl that came into class the first day anxious to meet her new classmates.

It was such a hard time for me.

The first day I came into school and she wasn't there I cried my eyes out in the girl's toilet.

All I still had was a letter thrown into my locker with an explanation and the memories.

The teachers tried to get me out, but after three lessons and five teachers they finally gave up and left me alone for the other three lessons.

After that, I didn't go to school for a week. I even turned off my phone because I got so many messages, condolences from people I didn't even really know, and all I could wish for was a message from Azmina.

I should have appreciated all the support but all I could do was to cry about everything I lost.

I still wonder how long we would have been together, if I ever had met Joshua and Sarah, basically if I would be the person I'm now.

I probably wouldn't be.

Now I don't really study for university but with her, I would probably be the best in class.

She had always helped me, we would always study together.

Every time I would try to distract her from studying and kiss her instead. She would laugh, tilt her head, give me a little peck on the lips and proceed to teach me about algebra, chemistry or whatever.

After she left my grades dropped dramatically.

It was hard to work myself up again, but then I met Joshua and Sarah.

Sarah a very confident black girl, who's confidence was sometimes mistaken for attitude.

Joshua a white boy who didn't always fit in even though he loved sports, he just wasn't manly enough for some.

I was the mixed girl, half white half Ethiopian, that was pretty popular but at the same time didn't have real friends until I met these two idiots. Idiots as in I love these idiots.

Sarah, who was drastically smaller than most people, was the friend that always offered to beat someone up for you, Joshua was the goofball, ray of sunshine type of friend who always tried to calm Sarah down.

Sarah's motto was "if you're going to get in trouble for hitting someone, might as well hit them hard."

Their different personalities lead to funny stories, like the one time Sarah tried to beat up a guy who didn't show up at the date I had with him and Joshua tried to keep her from punching him. Later that day I had to drive to the hospital with Joshua, who had a broken nose, and Sarah, who was still apologizing, in the backseat.

It was always fun with them and soon I had forgotten about Azmina, well not forgotten, she still had a special place in my heart.

I will probably never forget her, I still remember her clearly even though I'm twenty-two now.