Moleman's Epic Rap Battles #39: Pink Floyd Vs. Qin Shi Huang

MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!

PINK FLOYD...

...VS...

...QIN SHI HUANG!!!!!!!

BEGIN!

• Qin Shi Huang: •

You've tackled doggies, sheep and pigs, but taken on my breed? You haven't,

For as Animals go, I'm an all-Eclipsing, mighty dragon!

My reign marks where Chinese history worth written record started,

And you face me In the Flesh, unlike the force by which I'm guarded!

You're on Thin Ice: troubled, Waters; can't turn back my conquest's tide.

Dave sings of Money's evils? I see all its units standardized,

And I know you wish Syd were here, but soon you'll share his wretched fate;

No way you'd win this, even with ol' Rick inputting worth his weight!

Now, heed this bit of education, 'cause it's plain you need it, pricks:

I paved the roads throughout a nation, while you followed yellow bricks!

I'm hardly one to talk to fish, but still I unified the seven;

Palpatine has nothing on this greatest emperor under Heaven!

You've seen your last blue sky once my blitzing disses hit, you suckers;

No one doubts I'll drop the bomb on you: just go and ask your mothers!

Down to business to defeat the Huang? You're facing certain doom,

And that's no mystery, so kneel and kiss the dark side of my moon!

• Pink Floyd: •

Roger Waters: We came in here to flow, so let's skip past the ambience and do this...

Nick Mason: Time to serve a tyrant's Final Cut less kindly still than Brutus!

Richard Wright: To withstand your disses comfortably, we need no numbing shots.

David Gilmour: Plus, how can you teach shit to us? You closed the Hundred Schools of Thought!

Mason: Our motors revved, we're drumming up a psychedelic thunderstorm;

You think your loss impossible, but swine take flight when we perform!

Authority's your heroin: you're always seeking More to gain,

Yet you're no dragon, but a nasty worm, who'll not damage our brains!

Wright: We're out of this world at our live shows, and the Russians can attest,

So just consider me the second Rick who'll lay you back to rest.

Your offing of your own half-brothers for their daddy's acts was heinous;

Fairer judgements have been passed down through the flaps of Roger's anus!

Waters: You've one fortified self-image, but Confucius say: you evil!

Man, you buried folks alive; it beats me how that's labelled "Legal".

Well, if "thought-controlling fascist" is the role you're gonna play,

I'll follow suit, goose-step into Xianyang, and hammer you today!

Gilmour: Your futile search for an elixir was a lifelong lapse of reason;