Not Me

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When i was growing up, my world mainly consisted of me and my mother. Until I was around 8 years old, I didnt even realize you needed a dad to be born. I think the only reason I found out about him was a family member I never met told me my dad missed me when they saw me and my mom in the local Dollar Tree. Daddy issues, how cliche.
My mom had a boyfriend then, i hated him. Grown up now i thank him for being the only man i can call i father figure, but I cant say i was the nicest of kids to him. His and my mothers relationship made me realize what i didnt want with my life. Sculpted me into being a realist so young. Half of me was a hooeless romantic, but I thought the other half was too smart to ever love so foolishy. I was way too aware with Max that he was bad, toxic, and a liar. Maybe I was just lonely. Maybe I was really in love. Years later I still cant tell the diffrence. I knew with Max that I could be myself, I made it clear what I knew and that this wasnt me. What I did for him was special, because he made me feel that way. I was just another girl hoping to be good enough to change the damaged boy from his bad ways. We all want to change someone. We all want to be worth changing for.

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