Things About Ben

Why?

We were talking recently. You texted me about how my friend was trying too hard to "get in" (he doesn't wanna 'get in', Ben. He just wants to date. Not everyone is a gross pig like you). I asked you how you knew, but more importantly I was wondering why you cared. You tried to put yourself above him like you were clearly better than him. You said he was socially awkward and weird, but you seemed to have forgotten that you are even more so. He's my best friend, and you were dissing him as if that is going to make me want you again.

And the thing is, you don't even want me. You told me you were trying to hit up Vegetarian Catherine, but she was ignoring you. I told you she has a girlfriend, and you made a joke about not getting a blowjob because she "doesn't eat meat." 

And I just... I was disgusted. 

Then you made a joke about showering with me, and I'm just trying to figure out what it is you seem to think you are doing. What game are you trying to play? You don't want me, yet you don't want anyone else to want me. You talk about doing stuff with me, yet you made it clear you wanted to hit Catherine. 

But the thing I don't understand is...what made you think I wanted you back in the first place? Yes, I do respond to your text messages, but only because I think it would be rude not to. 

So here I am, proudly saying that you're disgusting. 

Here I am, shouting out how much I don't like you. 

Here I am, typing out the three words I never thought I would say,

and here I am, meaning them.

I'm. Over. You.