Call Me Monster

Chapter 30

Kyungsoo

I bit my lip as I declined his call once again. It hurt. Everything hurt.

A while later I was sitting on my bed with my knees pulled up against my chest. I was on my way to Baekhyun's as I remembered Mr. Biscuit was still laying in my bed. Mr. Biscuit was my Stuffed Cat from when I was younger. My mom had bought him since I used to have a lot of nightmares. I still slept with him laying beside me on the pillow, but since I slept in Jongin's bed he had just laid here all the time.

I grabbed the cat, but as I was about to stand up the door opened and Jongin came in. I was shocked to see him here, "Jongin?"

"Kyungsoo, your mother let me in." He explained. "What..." He seemed to have difficulties with finding the right words, but eventually came up with, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" I asked in disbelieve. "What's wrong?!"

It surprised me that his face was emotionless. He just stood there, which irritated me. I pinched Mr. Biscuit from frustration and turned my back to him. "You fucking lied to me, that's what's wrong!"

"I'm sorry," he spoke. "What can I do?"

"There's nothing you can do. You planned to hurt me... I..." My voice broke while I was trying to express my feelings towards him. "You are a horrible person, do you know that?"

"I do," he admitted. He was so calm I had to bite my lip to stop myself from crying.

"I hate you Jongin!" I yelled at him. "I hate you so much." The tears that I tried to hold back started running down my face. My hands turned into fists as I faced him. "Why?"

"Why?" Jongin asked back. "What do you mean?"

"Why me?"

"Oh Kyungsoo," he stepped closer to reach out his arm, but I moved backwards.

"Please don't touch me."

"I love you Kyungsoo," his expression turned sad. "I told you not to forget that."

"How can I believe you?" I shook my head. "After all this shit you still think I would just say 'if you say so, let's get back together.' Really?"

"I don't know what I expected." He admitted. "I do love you even though you don't think so. I have fallen for you. I am a horrible person, I know that, but I'm a horrible person that has fallen for the one I tried to hurt."

I licked my salty lips and looked away.

"As soon as I realised I was in love with you, I tried to protect you from myself. From the truth, but it was no use. I should have known it would come out some day. I just hope you will forgive me one day too."

"You played with my heart on purpose. You broke it."

"All I can say is how sorry I am, there are no excuses." He swallowed a lump away before speaking again. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't. But I seriously hope you will wake up one day and be able to let the hatred you have against me not ruin your life."

I looked at him and saw he was staring at me. "Everyone will leave me eventually."

"No, they won't. Baekhyun will stay by your side for as long as you want him and probably even when you tell him to go. There are good people out there Kyungsoo, I'm just not one of them."

"I don't hate you," I spoke softly. "I wish I did. As long as I've known you I am in love with you and I can't let the love I have for you go that easily." I closed my eyes for a moment. "I don't want to see you again." I started walking past him to the door, but he grabbed my arm. "Kyungsoo, please."

"Please what?" I asked looking up.

"Please don't let this ruin your life."

I pulled my arm out of his grip and walked away. Away from the guy I loved so much. Away from the life I wish I could live. Away from everything I wanted. And it was as if I could hear my own heart breaking.