A Necessary Struggle: Fall Semester

Part 47

         Alyssa tried. She tried with every ounce of courage still harbored in her heart but she couldn't do it. Quinn talked her into going to Safiya's baby shower. He told her it was what she needed. Some fresh air and a new surrounding, the truth was he feared she was becoming agoraphobic. Which she wasn't, she just didn't want to be around people. See people; hear people, people going on with their natural normal lives. A life she once had. It was all a reminder of what she lost. Quinn's apartment was a safe place away from all their laughter and jovial smiles.

           Even though she was against going she showered for the occasion and put on the best dress she had. She dug it out the drawer Quinn gave her. She slipped on the sky blue sundress after drying herself off with one of Quinn's beach towel. The boy didn't have normal bath towels on account of Target having a sale on beach towels. She paired the dress with a pair of white Vans and waited until Quinn got off work. He told her he would go with her. It was the only way he got her to even consider it.

           They rode in his 70's era pick-up in silence with just the autumn breeze spilling through the cracked windows. Neither one of them spoke a word as Quinn maneuvered them through the various streets to get to Trevor's neighborhood. At the one chance of a word to be spoken, Quinn stopped at the gate closing off the McMansions and fixed his lips to ask her the code but the gate miraculously opened.

           Once Quinn parked his car by the curb behind Harmony's jeep and killed the engine he asked, "Ready?"

            Alyssa answered with a weak smile sitting her purse strap on her shoulder. She slid out the car and they walk down the sidewalk being accompanied by silence once more. They stood side by side; Quinn admired the modern design of some of the houses while she counted the copious amount of cars parked on the side of the street. When she hit a number over ten her breathing became labored and her heart rivaled the speed of a train. 

Quinn must've sensed it because he slipped his hand in hers before he knocked on the front door. She gripped his hand a little tighter when she heard the door's lock click. The smile that greeted Alyssa, slathered on Harmony's face should've relaxed her but all it did was make things worst. She tore her hand from Quinn and ran for the stairs quicker than a bullet.

            She darted for the first bedroom and sought shelter in the bathroom. That's where she'd been for about half an hour; locked in Trevor's bathroom. She wasn't alone, though. She could hear them breathing right outside her door. She didn't need to peek through a crack to discover the individuals. She knew who they were and what they wanted. Harmony, Lela, and Safiya wanted to talk. They wanted to talk about her problem. A problem that Alyssa had already diagnosed herself with after spending one-afternoon last week reading in her psychology textbook and surfing WebMD; PTSD. She had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
         Insomnia. Guilt. Loss of Motivation. Flashbacks. Mistrust. Nightmares. Isolation. Depression. She went down the list saying yes to each of the symptoms. She was damaged she knew it and without her pills, she didn't think she could do it, it being life. She was sick and tired of being scared and hurt.

             Alyssa raised her head and ogled at her reflection in the mirror. Then something docked on the wall attracted her almond eyes, a medicine cabinet. Quinn's medicine drawer was practically a desert filled with nothing stronger than aspirin. She opened the cedar door and her eyes widen from the rows of feminine products; summer's Eve wipes, tampons, birth control, perfume, and mascara. Amidst all of the things, Alyssa defiantly knew was Lela's sat a translucent orange bottle. Alyssa grabbed it off the shelf to discover another bottle behind it.

             "Paxil." She read the label of the first bottle and then shifted her eyes to the second one, "Xanax?" Curiosity pushed away Alyssa anxiety as she searched for the name for whom the medications were prescribed too. "Lela." She uttered as the bottles shook in her hand and clicked on the stone floor.

          "Is everything alright in there?" Came from a voice Alyssa matched with Harmony.

              Alyssa picked up the bottles. "I'm fine!" She shouted back.

             "Come out! We're tired of waiting for you!" That was Safiya. Alyssa was sure of it.

            "I'm coming!" Alyssa responded putting the bottles back in the cabinet but not without taking a few for herself. She tossed a Xanax in her mouth and swallowed it down without water. She dropped three of the Paxil's and four more Xanax's in the pocket of her dress then whipped the door open with one question on her mind. What illness did Lela have? 

Alyssa has just found Lela's medication, do you think she's going to confront her and keep it to herself?