Grind and Pray

XIX

Funeral For Mama

"Hope P.O.V": Pablo is back home from the hospital and it's time for mama funeral. Chuckii is back on the road but he calls to check up on me and everything. Plus there's pictures of us on his Instagram and mines. I miss him and i'm upset that i have to go to this funeral alone with my Pablo. Oh yeah, Snoop is doing better. He actually stays with me. He moved in, him and Pablo made a promise to go to school and make something out of themselves. Right now, i'm getting ready. As i'm getting ready i hear a third voice in the house that isn't mines or the boys.

Hope: Who is that?!?

     No one responded back so I walked out my room to see who was in my house. When i got there i realized that it was my baby. I ran straight into his arms, damn near in tears.

Hope: How are you here?
Chuckii: I made some arrangements plus Pablo called and told me how you been off since yesterday so i wanted to be by your side.
Hope: *kisses Chuckii* Thank you Pablo.
Pablo: Yeah. Oh yeah Snoop this Chuckii, Hope boyfriend.
Snoop: Wassup, you know i got a few bars myself right.
Chuckii: Oh word?
Snoop: Yeah.
Chuckii: I'll arrange for you to get some studio time meanwhile, go finish getting dressed.

     The boys went to the room. Yeah they share a room and they don't seem to mind. I went back to my room and Chuckii followed.

Chuckii: So ma' tell me how you really been feeling.
Hope: I'm fine babe.
Chuckii: You sure?
Hope: Positive.
Chuckii: Okay. You look good by the way.
Hope: Thank you.
Chuckii: *holds Hope from behind* Ma'.
Hope: Yeah? *continues blending makeup*
Chuckii: You uhm getting a little bigger.
Hope: Depression state of mind. Don't worry i'm fine.
Chuckii: Okay. But remember you need to keep yourself healthy ma'.
Hope: I know.

     I continued getting ready while music played. The song currently playing was, "Drop by Chloe x Halle" and i sung along just because.  I don't know my family on my moms side but better not none of them come up to me as if they watched my every move growing up because none of them was there for me or Pablo when moms had to go into special care. About twenty minutes later, i was grabbing my things getting ready to leave when Snoop tackled me to the ground. Just then gun shot were going off and i could see Pablo crawling towards us and Chuckii on the ground with his hand on his waist band. A minute later the gun shots stopped and we all stood. I just shook my head and put my heels on because this is crazy. I need to move. I need to move from out this neighborhood because i'm tired of my family being at risk man.

Hope: Lets go.

     We all left and i threw my keys at Chuckii.

Hope: Can you drive?
Chuckii: Yeah.

      We all got into my car which by the way, he paid to get it fixed. We not even married and he paid for my car to get fixed. He didn't even want anything in return. Soon as we got in the car, i leaned my seat back a little and just began looking out the window as houses and trees were left behind. I really didn't want to cry because she's not suffering anymore. I turned on the radio and had it to the max of five for the volume. I began singing along with the radio. (God's Gift by J.Cole)

Hope: Up up and away...
Would you trust me...
Would you love me...
Then it must be...

Worldwide stunner, oh man, I'm a
Reign on the game, make it storm and thunder
Grab an umbrella bitch, and go stand under
And bundle up, it's gonna be a cold ass summer
You niggas so last summer
Onto the new, on onto the new shit
Jigga wouldn't even take my CD when he seen me
Two years later bitch we made it on, onto the Blueprint
Now how's that for persistence
Cole World comin', call back up assistance
Same broads, used to hang up on my walls
Now they come up out their drawers, how's that for a mistress
Hell bent, heaven sent, Lord I repent if I ever sinned
Now I know I ain't the richest, but I still wanna ball
Put money over bitches but we still under god

Did you miss me?
No I don't know where I'm goin', but I'm goin', now is you comin' with me?
Up, up and away, hey, do you trust me?
If I was on my last dollar, dead poor, assed out, would you love me?
Then it must be a match made in heaven
God's Gift
God's Gift
God's Gift
Motherfucker this is God's gift

Pussy my passion
Man I just can't help it I see a cookie, I grab one
Lookin' for some nookie, I'm tryna scoop me a bad one
Every verse I spit it just like it could be my last one
Ever since I got on
I've been on a mission to fuck the bitches I missed out on
Ex-cheerleader hollerin' what's up
Now her nigga beat her, now that's fucked up
What type of little fuck boy hitter
Woman baby wouldn't put his hands on a nigga
I ain't bitter boy that's all you
Plus I just fucked her 'fore she called you
Dry your eyes baby, I'll drive you home
Older hoes sayin', my how you've grown
I came up, fucked the game up
Show my momma I'll survive on my own

Did you miss me?
No I don't know where I'm goin', but I'm goin', now is you comin' with me?
Up, up and away, hey, do you trust me?
If I was on my last dollar, dead poor, assed out, would you love me?
Then it must be a match made in heaven
God's Gift
God's Gift
God's Gift
Motherfucker this is God's gift

   I wiped my tears that fell. About ten minutes later we pulled up to the church and i seen tons of cars. There is no way in hell that this is all of my family. I got out the car and looked around. We all began making our way into the church. All eyes was on us and Chuckii grabbed my hand as i walked with my head down. When it came time for us to sit down, i sat and crossed my leg. The choir began singing and i gripped Chuckii hand. About a hour later we were in the cemetery putting mama into the ground. I hurried to the car. I refuse to watch them bury my mom. Pablo and Snoop stayed and watched but i just didn't have the strength to say goodbye.