Judge Me

S1E7: Not My Fight Pt. 1

S1E7: Not My Fight Pt. 1

'Don't say goodbye, look in my eyes so that I'll always will remember...'

-Nicki Minaj 'Young Forever'

I breathed a sigh of relief as Jax's scruffy beard scraped against my neck as he placed a kiss on my cheek. I spun around and kissed him properly, breathing him in entirely.

"Happy to see me?", he chuckled and it sent waves of calm through me. I nodded. "It's been a while since I saw you and I was wondering if you had already replaced me. Even though that might be tough," I joked as I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer until our foreheads were touching.

Jax hummed as we just stood like this.

"Where you headed?"

"Home. I need a good shower and a session with Netflix. Why? You ready to saddle up already...."

"No, I'm just making sure you'll be okay."

"Why wouldn't I?", I pulled back breaking our little bubble of warmth.

He gave me that knowing look. It's a look that Jax has had for years since his brother Thomas died. Like wisdom was poured into him after that and sometimes he used his brain and other times he shut it out.

But now he looked worried, concerned, and determined about something.

"Jax, what are you-"

"You have a problem."

"I don't-"

"You do," he stated.

I slammed my mouth closed because I was about to fly off the handle with no warning signs in sight.

"Did Bayleigh tell you something?"

"Bayleigh didn't have to. The letters that were sent to your house and pictures of you in random places. What the hell, Stasi? Who is doing this to you?", Jax was the type to always have your back no matter what if you were close to him. But sometimes he didn't understand and his blindness to a situation could be detrimental.

I pulled away completely.

"I'm a big girl, Jackson. I don't need a Son handling my business. I'm not the club," I argued getting upset that my shit was piling up at the door and I didn't know how to handle it.

Jax nodded.

"You either tell me or I figure it out with the club's help."

"Running man hours for little old me. You shouldn't have to, Jax. Leave it alone. This is not some war between you and your competition. This is mine to deal with."

I had no idea Jax was so upset until he grabbed me by the arm and squeezed until I struggled to get away.

"You are mine. You are my girl. Therefore this is my shit too."

I yanked away and David was there to catch me before I fell.

"You're wrong, Jax. Please, just leave it alone. I can handle myself. I've been doing it for 10 years now."

David asked me if I was okay while giving Jax the side eye but I didn't want their problems to escalate because of me. All I did was nod and got into my car to leave.

-

I'm not leaving until we are together.

Til death do us part.

My mom stared at me as I finished reading the mountain of letters from Jason. She read my expressions but never said anything.

"Um, where's Dad?", I tried to bypass the questions in her eyes.

"Nastasia Rose Casey, if you don't stop playing games and tell me why the hell someone is basically threatening you with death, I will call your father and tell him about this. You know how he gets when one of his own is in danger," my Mom's voice rose when she spoke me full name but fell to a deathly calm tone as she uttered the rest of her words. I felt the sting and flinched a little.

There was no way out of this. I had to come clean or my family would be put into danger like Alex had been the first time. Being shot isn't fun at all and I wouldn't dare let my sister or mother go through that.

So I came clean and told her the whole story that I told Bayleigh. She tried to be strong but tears filled her eyes when I told her about being shot and seeing my whole life flash before my eyes like a motion picture. I never felt so safe as I did when she wrapped her arms around me like when I was a little girl.

"It's not Jax's decision to clean my mess up for me. I need to do this alone for myself. I don't want anyone to get hurt."

"Well, too late, Stasi. You were killed and dead for twenty minutes. How the hell am I supposed to let someone who did that to my baby girl walk away? How?!"

"I've forgiven him for shooting me but I can't forgive him if he tries to do it again."

"He won't have the chance to," my mom growled as she stood up and the tears were suddenly gone. A cold ruthless killer stood before me and my blood ran cold as I stared up into her eyes. "You are going to stay in this house until I have him under control. That is not a suggestion either. If you go against my wishes, I will get your father involved."

Why Daddy though?

I mean my Dad was frightening when he wanted to be especially when it came to dangerous situations and the women in his life. He would lock me in my bedroom if he thought that was the safest place for me. I couldn't take his overprotective nature but he said it was for my own good.

"What about the threats to your life? Who is going to watch your back?!"

"I am not a weak individual, Stasi! I have killed far more talented assassins then myself. People that would make everything in this world horrible for you, I erased them from the face of this earth. I'm not letting you go at this alone."

"You'll just kill every problem I have, right?", I shrugged sarcastically but my face held my anger for what she was doing.

"Don't mistake this bloodshed for anything else than what it is."

"And what is it?"

"Protecting my family. And I'll murder a million men to keep you, your sister, and your father safe."

"I've died once. I'm not afraid to die again," I whispered to no one as my head fell back and I closed my eyes trying to breathe. The arms that wrapped around me made my eyes water. They were the same as I remember them. Strong, warm, and never relenting. They never gave up one me. "You shouldn't have to keep sacrificing yourself for people, Stasi. I want you to live in happiness with Jax or whoever you wish," she comforted me as the waves of calm slowly rolled in.

My eyes shut as I tried to forget the mess I was in.