The Misfortunes of Being a Demigod

1 ~ Goodbye Normal

Malia Thompson has two problems: the gum on the bottom of her shoe and the hair growing out of Ms. Riggs nose.

Okay, okay, the second problem isn't exactly hers, but the sweaty strands are so gross looking, Malia can't avert her eyes. Call her rude, but its similar to when people have that plump zit on their face that is in some serious need of popping, and no matter how much you try, you can't seem to stray your eyes away.

I wish it were a zit, She thinks as she stares wide-eyed at the snotty forest.

Ms. Riggs leans forward and clasps her hands together on top of her wooden desk. Her expression brings an amused smile to Malia's face as she ruminates on what could have brought her to the office this time.

Was she finally getting caught for the soap in the swimming pool? Or maybe they figured out it was her who leaked the answers to the Algebra exam last week.

Or maybe, just maybe, Ms. Riggs wanted to praise her for winning the talent show earlier this morning with her speed painting. She was almost eliminate for her masterpiece looking like a dick, but after much protesting, Malia made it clear it was not a dick. It was a penis. And those are two separate words, mind you, so technically by using the scientific version of the male anatomy, she was kept in the competition by claiming it was a biology lesson.

A really in debt lesson.

"I know you made the stink bomb."

Shit. Someone must have ratted her out in art class. Malia rolls her eyes. Last time she will trust a bunch of freshmen.

Malia kicks her feet up on the desk and crosses her arms. Now that was fun. She had set it off in the midst of her obnoxious teacher's lesson and tossed it to the freshman in the back of the class. They had began to throw it around the class in a hot potato manner, allowing the laughter from the class to fade out the teacher's threats.

That is, until someone threw it to Grover. You see, Grover gets scared easily. He screamed as soon as the bomb landed in his lap and fell backwards out of his chair, hit his head on the desk behind him and passed out.

That was pretty funny too.

But he's Malia's friend, so when the class started laughing at him, she screamed something along the lines of, "if I hear one more sound out of your baby-ass-mouth, I will make the rest of your high school lives miserable!"

And coming from Malia, the girl who duct-taped not only her EX-boyfriend to the girls bathroom door, but also his penis - which was shaved and attached by several layers to the handle - sent the freshmen into a panicked silence.

Ms. Riggs chuckled. "I'm actually surprised you made it until Thursday until coming to my office."

Normally she's screaming by now, Malia thinks. "Call it a miracle." She responds, a little upset that she wasn't told to take her feet down.

"A little unfortunate too." She snaps. "You made my job much harder."

Malia's eyebrows furrow. "I made your job harder by not coming to your office everyday?"

"Your seventeenth birthday was three days ago," Ms. Riggs mutters. "The protection should have worn off then. But then YOU masked your scent AGAIN with that silly wristband!"

Malia touches the bracelet in her pocket. It was a gift from Grover: a promise that as long as she kept the beads on, she wasn't allowed to pull any pranks. She took it off this morning for the first time all week, feeling bad if she wore it during the stink bomb incident.