Imaginary (Niam, Ziall, Ziam, Larry fanfic)

Part 31

Liam

Liam had no idea what he was supposed to do. Either way he would be letting people he loved down and he couldn't stand that. He knew Niall had made this decision before but he never thought he would be faced with the same one. Niall had a lot more time than he did too. He only has a week to make a decision and he feels like ripping his hair out.

He loved the boys so much and didn't want to be without them but he also loved his family and he wanted to have his own family someday even if he used to picture having a family with Niall. He knew it was impossible, but he always imagined himself being with Niall and no one else until Zayn came alone of course. He never really thought before that one day Niall's and his relationship would come to an end. It was inevitable. Deep down Liam always knew this but he pushed it so far to the back of his mind he refused to ever think about it.

As a human or an angel he could never marry the boys or have kids. He could never bring them around to family events and get his parents approval. He could never introduce them to friends or co-workers he might make. But he didn't want to be without them.

Niall was all he knew from a very young age. He was his oldest and closest friend. Now that Ed was gone he didn't really have any other friends because he was use to spending all his time with Niall and now Zayn. No matter what he did, was he ever going to have the standards of a normal life?

Liam went over all of this in his head as he laid wide awake in his bed alone. The only light source came from the moon than shined dimly through his window casting shadows on his wall and floor. He had no idea where Niall or Zayn went but he was kind of grateful for the time he had to think by himself. His clock on his nightstand read ten past three.

Liam thought back to the day Zayn told him to kill himself and he actually tried to. He thought about what it would be like had he actually succeeded. He would be a guardian angel somewhere with no memory of anything that happened prior. Niall would still be stuck in the graveyard he was buried at and Zayn would still be trying to find him. Liam was thankful for Zayn saving him. He didn't want to die he just got so overwhelmed by everything.

He wondered what Ed was up to now and if he's happy. If Liam knew Ed was feeling that way, he would have made an effort to be a better friend to him. The funeral for Ed was being held in the morning and Liam was planning on attending. He knew Niall and Zayn were going for Louis.

Liam was certain he wouldn't even make a good angel. He was too shy and soft spoken where Niall, Zayn, and Louis were loud and outgoing. Liam certainly knew he wouldn't make a good demon. He was too much of a goody too shoes to do anything bad even if he knew he wouldn't get caught. Then he remembered if he jumped Niall would turn into a demon just like Zayn and Louis. He wondered if Niall was actually okay with this or if he was just going alone with it. Liam knew Niall adored his white wings and before Zayn came alone he never so much as look at a demon. Liam wouldn't do that to Niall unless Niall was a hundred percent sure it's what he wanted.

Liam realized he needed and outsider's opinion. He needed to talk to Louis. He didn't want the other boys to know either. He got out of bed and threw on a t-shirt and pants. He grabbed a jacket on his way out of his bedroom and slipped silently out his front door without making a sound. He could make it to Harry's flat in about fifteen minutes if he walked fast.

He walked through the silent streets of the dim lit town occasionally seeing a car pass by. The air was brisk and wind cut through him when it blew. He was grateful he had remembered his jacket as he pulled it closer to his chest.