The Love Trials: Ashley

Chapter Fourteen

WARNING. MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE TRIGGERING. 

Bradley made sure I was tucked up in bed all day for the next week. I knew my old phone would be getting phone calls after calls from my friends and maybe from Jackson too. I never knew though but was quite certain that Bradley did. I was sure that he had not chucked away my old phone but had kept it. I had no proof to show otherwise because Bradley rarely left me alone in the house while I was 'relaxing' from work. He made sure I was in bed all the time, only getting up to go to the toilet because he brought me my meals. He was having time off work too, literally only leaving the house to take rubbish out or to go to the shops and all times, he locked me in my bedroom.

Sitting alone in my bed, I wondered why I didn't leave. I could have done so after the hospital but of course, I knew why. I loved him. After a few months now of dating Bradley Smith, I could say I honestly loved him and I lived for the good moments we had together. He would come into my room and spend time with me but he treat me like a twelve year old not an adult and definitely not as his partner.

I was glad for the television and glad for the phone (Bradley had installed plenty of gaming apps) because otherwise I would have gone crazy. I felt so alone... So vulnerable... I just wished I had listened to my friends before. They had been right, all of them and I never should have accepted the offer to live here. Maybe then this would have never happened and I would be safe and happy in a home surrounded by people I loved.

It took so much effort to not flinch from Bradley, took so much effort to stand my ground even if he only raised a hand to brush my hair away from my face. My instincts were to flinch, to dive for cover the second that hand was raised. I stood my ground though because a deeper instinct told me that if I didn't, if I flinched, he would hurt me.

I never argued with Bradley again. Anything he wanted, he got. That was the way it worked. Anything I wanted, I stayed silent unless it was something I needed and even then, I only asked if he was in a good mood. What woman had to wait until he was in a good mood to ask for period tampons or shampoo? How was this right? How was it fair?

Consistent fear was my friend, helped me to survive I guess. By listening carefully for when Bradley was around the house helped me to know if he was going to come into the room with a rage. However, while I spent everyday in bed, he didn't come into a rage and I could only guess that was because there was no alcohol in the house or because Bradley wasn't at work or maybe he suspected he was being watched. No matter what the reason, I was so grateful for it. If I heard a sudden noise or a sudden movement, I jumped. I was so scared... All the time.

And there was nothing I could do about it anymore. He didn't leave the house often. When he did, he locked down on everything. This was mainly a guess because my room was also locked but the windows (including my room) were locked. I had a feeling that Bradley took all keys with him and locked the front door, preventing me from getting out. I was too weak to smash a window and didn't particularly want to die from jumping out of a window so I was screwed. Stuck in the same room with the same four walls twenty-four seven.

Although my ribs were healing and although my wrist was healing and the bruises faded, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw myself getting thinner and also watched my face change too. Darker shadows under my eyes and maybe a slightly thinner face. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't being starved to death but I wasn't exactly on a balanced diet either because Bradley controlled that too. No more fat foods, including fast food, biscuits, crisps, cakes. Limited sugar in my hot drinks, one sugar per cup. And two cups a day. I was starting to feel light headed more often. Shaking more often. Ill.

I dreamt of a better place, of happier times. Of Jackson running in, arresting Bradley on charges... I didn't know... But arresting him and me and my friends being happy, partying all night long and Jackson and I... Maybe something would happen. He was nice, a sweet guy. Sweet enough to come to my rescue when I was losing so much blood. Kind enough to put in a charge to arrest Bradley then lose his job for it and definitely observant enough to see that I had been lying about the mugger. He could protect me, love me, care for me and I would do the same for him...

Happier times, better places...