PLAIN and PROUD: Book 1 (BxB n LGBT)

Chapter 15: Parental Guidances

Camden Square Gardens, London 

A lady in her early 40s is sitting alone on the park bench. The surrounding area is a typical, lovely British park in the heart of London. She’s a British citizen though she wasn’t actually born here. One could easily come to that conclusion through her distinguished, porcelain yet lacking in pallor of skin and her glorious coal black hair. She moved here after the split up. After they decided to give up their own son to another family.

She couldn’t deny the fact that she missed her son up until now. The private investigator that she hired gave her constantly updated her with good news on the development of her son. He’s growing up fine under the guidance of the American family. She felt so relieved just by hearing that. Beyond words, it's a feeling of indescribable gratefulness.

Her faintly alabaster skin presented her with such exquisite Oriental beauty and it would be an understatement to proclaim that she stood out much more than the freckled, deeply pale British faces. She’s Thai and she’s very proud of her origin. She remarried but her second husband died recently, leaving her with quite a huge fortune yet without a new child. She's pursuing her love in literature and journalism with a job as a daily columnist for a national newspaper.

         The prospect of having another child scared her out of her wits. It's a huge ordeal to lose one when she couldn’t help it and having another one made her maternal instinct grew more and more restless. She would never have another one, not until she could be reunited with her long-lost son. She’s used to being a lonely mother, thousands of miles apart from her son and her first husband has also moved on.

He’s German and he remarried a beautiful model in Berlin after the splitting up. She's also well aware that they had another child together, also a son. Two years younger than hers.

Today would be a meeting between the two parents after a long absence. They would still meet up but as far as she could recall, the last time was back when her ex-husband's son was still 5 and she decided to give him a visit in Berlin.

She's endlessly yearning for that priceless chance to properly meet her biological son once again. The distance is tearing her apart day by day, after all these years. Seventeen years to be exact, which seemed like a constant reminder of her horrible decision to give him up for adoption. That boy needs to know what really happened. He needs to know that his mother and father are still alive and doing really well.

At least she wishes to reconnect with him face to face even for a minute, which would be more than enough and maybe then say goodbye for good. She's prepared for every sort of possibilities that might arise from this future rekindling of mother and child. Whether it's good or bad, she won’t mind. If things get worse or if he hated her so much, it'd be fine. Perhaps she could finally carry on with her life. No more baggage from her past mistake, the biggest one being a teenage boy in an American high school who probably would consider her deceased for years. Maybe then after meeting him she could meet someone new and start afresh, maybe she could collect enough strength and heart to have another child once the huge guilt is fully resolved.

She needs no forgiveness, she simply needs absolution and closure.

      She’s a devout Buddhist. Born and raised as one. She doesn’t really know the Tripitaka by heart but the great teachings of Buddha had been her source of tranquillity and strength especially through the different phases of turbulence in her life. At the moment, she’s reading a new novel by Paulo Coelho, her favourite author with such studious manner. Her eyes would never leave the pages unless absolutely necessary. She arrived fifteen minutes early, so she could enjoy a good read of few pages of the book on her hands, laying them open on her lap with a wonderful vision for a lady her age.